Song Parodies -> "Crack It"

Original Song Title:

"Whip It"

^(MP3)

Original Performer:

"Crack It"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

About five weeks ago, I underwent open heart surgery. The night before, my surgeon came to my room and explained the risks of open heart surgery and the risks of foregoing open heart surgery. And when he asked me what I wanted him to do, I got up and sang out .......

Ka-rack that chest!!
Give the heart a fix
Pull on the crack
Bypass all the plaque

When a sternum's in the way
You must crack it
Before I face my final day
You must crack it
When a ticker's gone astray
You must crack it

Now crack it
Out of shape
Pull it up
Damn straight
Work quickly
Before I'm dead
Try to bypass it
It's not too late
To crack it
Crack it good!

When a good heart turns unsound
You must crack it
I can never walk around
Until you crack it
No one gets chest pains
After you crack it

I say crack it
Crack it good
I say crack it
Crack it good

Crack that chest
Give the heart a fix
Scar up a dad
Make his daughter sad

When a sternum comes along
You must crack it
If a sick joke's in this song
I must crack it
With a zipper one foot long*
They did crack it

Now crack it
Out of shape
Pull a rib
Cant wait
Go forward
Before I'm dead
Try to protect it
It wont feel great
To crack it
Out of shape
Zip it up
My fate
Go forward
Need some meds
Try to live with it
It wont feel great
To crack it
Crack it good

The recovery from this surgery seems to have dulled my muse for a spell; hence no output for some time. Then suddenly the song "Whip It" pops into my head in connection with my surgery, and "Voila" I have a song in a couple of hours. Go figure. ............ *Apparently, the scar that comes with open heart is sometimes referred to as a "zipper" and is not quite a foot long

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Patrick - November 19, 2015 - Report this comment

Been there, had it done. You urge to write will return. Best wishes.

Jonathan - November 19, 2015 - Report this comment

wishing you well and a speedy recovery! congrats on taking your surgery and turning it into something funny though! good job! 5's
P.S. is it just me or is this OS while by no stretch a masterpiece a much better "Whip" song than that insufferable "Whip & Nae Nae?"

Callmelennie - November 19, 2015 - Report this comment

It's just you Jonathan (lol) ......... I am recovering well, guys; thank you for your well wishes. It helps a lot that the doctors discovered my dire circumstance (one 90% blockage, yipe!) before my heart was damaged. You dont recover too speedily or well if your first contact with the open heart surgeons is through the ER. ...... I went to the hospital on a Monday thinking I was going to have an angiogram and perhaps a stent or two, but once they saw all the blockages they cancelled that and called in the heavy artillery. I waited around the hospital until Thursday afternoon before the chest cracker had an opening for me (lol) Didn't see the outside of a hospital until the following Tuesday

Callmelennie - November 19, 2015 - Report this comment

So Patrick, did you have bypasses or heart valve? When they first saw my angiogram they were telling me I was going to need at least a triple and perhaps a quad. When I was in the ICU, they informed me I had received FIVE. When I remarked, "Is that some kind of record?" they informed me that this particular surgeon had done as many as SIX bypasses on patients -- he's just that good

Leough - November 20, 2015 - Report this comment

Props for not letting adversity dampen your sense of humor!

Patrick - November 20, 2015 - Report this comment

I think I had four. I did not watch the video, just trusted them to do their job. Was told that one of the valves was on the wrong side, a strange anomaly, but maybe that explains a lot of things. Dr Jeffrey Kramer, University of Kansas Medical Center. One of the best.

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