Take this dog and love it
Cause I have to move away
The landlord where I'm gonna be livin' now
Don't allow for dogs to stay

My brand new one-room garage apartment
Is a "no dog" zone, fer shore
So take this dog and love it
I ain't livin' here no more

My landlord's unreasonably anti-dog
And his wife has an allergy
His kids have a brand new Polish hamster
Lord, it's uglier than me

One of these days I'm gonna buy me a pup
And I'll sneak it in right under their noses
And if it poops and stinks up the place
I'll just say it's my new Polish roses (say what?)

Take this dog and love it
Cause I have to move away
His name is Mr. Woof-Woof
And he eats from a TV tray

His favorite show is "Dance With the Stars"
And he listens to Dinah Shore
So take this dog and love it
I ain't livin' here no more

Well I grew up in this neighborhood
And I was a rowdy kid
Whenever someone said "Oh, no you didn't"
Chances are, I did

But I was always nice to the doggies
Cause we both kinda think the same way
Lord, you're the only human friend I got
So to you I have to say (say what?)

Take this dog and love it
Cause I'm movin' to another street
My landlord don't like four-legged critters
Unless his wife's in heat

I ain't no privileged movie star
Or handsome like Al Gore
So take this dog and love it
I ain't livin' here no more