I drank so much last night I think I may
puke right now
If my wife sees this I'm quite sure
she'll have a cow
She'll say, "Get off
your fat behind
you drunken S.O.B.
you worthless sli..."

I got a pitcher free
But now I am on the floor
My wife says to me, "You must not
drink anymore"
Then you say, "Screw you,
I'm doin' fine"
For sex you're not inclined

(Chorus)
You got drunk as a skunk 'cause you sat and drank
Stein after stein
Now you stagger and stumble you're off your feet
She says you're slime
You were drunk as a skunk 'cause you sat and drank
Stein after stein
Now you stagger and stumble; WIFE WILL BE WAILING!
(you're off your feet)
She says you're slime

Now for the whole day your wife is yelling
in your face
Watching the TV screen you're hoping
She'll go away
Still she drones on; you cannot hide
The bitch just wails and whines

(Chorus)
You got drunk as a skunk 'cause you sat and drank
Stein after stein
Then you staggered and stumbled down on your seat
You're such a swine

(Instrumental break)

Now she bellows,
"Off your behind"
Your teeth begin to grind

(Chorus)
You got drunk as a skunk 'cause you sat and drank
Stein after stein
Now you slur, vision's blurred; you can barely see
not feeling fine
You were drunk as a skunk 'cause you sat and drank
Stein after stein
Now you slur, vision's blurred; THE WIFE IS WAILING!
(you can barely see)
not feeling fine
...don't feel too fine
no slack this time
getting maligned
you're in a bind
don't feel too fine
(Repeat to fade)