[Verse 1: RODDIE]
I was there to buy a Muppet. She was there to meet her frog.
The Great Overwatch Muppet does almost anything.
He'll pay you for your mysteries,
or he'll sell you someone's clues,
And that joker that's named Fozzie Bear, says your jokes are filled with glue.

[Verse 2: RODDIE]
Piggy stood back in the Wild West, as the cowboy dealt with me.
Her hat was brown and her eyes were desperate for some private mysteries.
His word was so prophetic, when he said,
You've got a sale.
I said, "Throw in one big Monster, and you're getting this duel."

[Chorus: RODDIE]
Oh, A McCree Monster Special is an easy thing to see,
You've gotta be at least 23, or 17, if you flee.
Just hand the guy some jokes, and if someone gets hit with a pie,
The Great Overwatch Muppet won't even fix his tie.

[Verse 3: RODDIE]
He handed me the Muppet, and I was almost to the store,
When I heard him tell Miss Piggy, "Seven dollars, nothing more."
Miss Piggy started crying as he turned her frog to sand.
My hand was in my pocket, and the puppet was in my hand.

[Verse 4: RODDIE]
I attempted to perform the Muppet myself, to make it speak.
I was once somebody's director. She married a frog for a week.
I usually forget about this but I could not get away,
His funny jokes weren't just making sense, and I knew I had to stay.
The cowboy's face turned angry, as he caught my Weegee stare,
It would never leave my pocket, but he knew that puppet was there,
I asked him what his secret was worth, he opened up that closet,
For just one frog with a Muppet's hand, he paid two thousand more.

[Chorus 2: RODDIE]
McCree Monster's play was special, because Sunday, he had it planned.
As I walked out the stage door, Piggy reached and took Kermit's hand,
They took a boat, and he took that puppet, and threw it under the sea,
Kermit said, "Ever meet Jim Henson?" and Piggy said, "I think he'd love to meet me."

[Outro: RODDIE]
Oh, A McCree Monster Special is an easy thing to see,
You've gotta be at least 23, or 17, if you flee.
The Great Overwatch Muppet Cowboy did almost anything,
But if you can't buy a Muppet there, you can't meet your Muppet Frog.