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Song Parodies -> "I'm on the Road to Hell"

Original Song Title:

"Road to Hell"

Original Performer:

Chris Rea

Parody Song Title:

"I'm on the Road to Hell"

Parody Written by:

Susanna Viljanen

The Lyrics

I just wonder how much despair, pain, agony and depression the Calvinist faith and concept of predestination must have brought in the world?
Well I'm reading now the Bible
but no mercy does it show
It spews with all the hatred you can think of
And when I read word of Calvin
there's no light of joy, I know -
[I'm] scared beyond belief way down in the shadows
The concept "predestination"
Chokes the smile on every face
No common sense is ringing out the bells
This ain't no theological breakdown
Oh no, I'm on the road to Hell

It's the God who gives no quarter,
no matter what you do
no matter if you pray or beg repentance
It is basically a lottery
of who's saved and who is damned
And God decided before your birth what is your place
And any thoght of God's injustice
closes shut the heavens doors
I have learnt this lesson fast and learnt it well
This ain't no mis-interpreted Gospel
Oh no, I'm on the road to Hell

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 4

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User Comments

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Sweet Indigo - October 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Actually, I think predestination *is* misinterpreted gospel :) I hate Calvinism too. It makes me wonder how such judgmental people can dare to call themselves 'Christians' when Christ taught his disciples to talk to and help anyone who would receive them.
Susanna VIljanen - October 08, 2004 - Report this comment
The direct logical consequence, if Calvinism is valid, is that God and Satan are the one and same entity - God is the source of all good and all evil - just like The Force in "Star Wars". It is that God is source of our sins and he makes us to commit sins and do nastities. While this explains the problem of theodikea quite nicely, it is a somewhat schizoid concept.

Another aspect I find extremely vile in Calvinism is that it denies the human being any possibilities on effecting his/her fate. Whether you go to Heaven or Hell is basically decided by God's whims comparable to flipping a coin, and there is absolutely nothing you can do to influence the outcome. So what is the point on taking responsibility of your deeds and actions? Calvinism seeds hypocrisy, double standards moralism and bigotry.

If I am to be asked, the image of God which Calvinists teach is that of an ego-impaired bully whose emotional life is on the level of average three-year old. I see no point on respecting such cosmic psychopath.
Kristof Robertson - October 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Clever, incisive words, Susanna....555

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