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Song Parodies -> "Quasar"

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The Lyrics

The following's about Quasar, Captain Kirk's cat, about him and what he does on the Enterprise, it's a parody of Skimbleshanks, a song from the musical Cats. Cats fans always make up their own personal cat, Quasar's one of mine. I'll soon be making up stories about him, you can read them here:, XX means a roman numeral, Twenty, so you won't get all mixed up.Star Trek (c) 1966 Gene Roddenberry, Cats (c) 1981 Andrew Lloyd Webber and T.S. Elliott
The Starfleet Cat
The Cat of the Enterprise

Kirk was calling in the lounge at the docking bay
When the Enterprise was ready to depart
"Quasar, where is Quasar?
Give him tricorder and phaser!
I must find him or the voyage won't start!""

Well Uhura and the Doc, Spock and Sulu and Scott
Would be searching high and low

"Quasar, where is Quasar?
It's our ship's first maiden voyage
We must find him or we won't go!"

All aboard embarked the crew with the signal overdue
And the Enterprise so longing to move
That's when I would appear and I'd saunter to the bridge
I'd been busy in the engine room
Then he said "Mr. Sulu, one quarter impulse power!"
And Kirk said, "Just a little more!"
They'd be off at last boldly going where no man's ever gone before!

The Starfleet cat
The Cat of the Enterprise

"You might say that by and large it was me who was in charge
Of a voyage to Andromache XX
I led the crew so brave to free children enslaved
Engaging in creations in a brewery

They'd be forced to make ale for Emperor and wife
Some Kilngon, some Starfleet Command
Twas Quasar who encouraged The Klingons and the Captain
To work peaceful at the task at hand

Starfleet had no choice but to declare war
And it's certain that he didn't approve
Yet the children involved simply had to savor freedom
Hence Quasar and friends were on the move

None could play no pranks with Quasar, oh no
He's a cat that can't be ignored
So nothing went wrong on the Enterprise
When The Starfleet Cat was aboard

'Twas Quasar who was busy helping Mr. Scott
And Preston on to Regula 1
Busy in the Jeffries Tube when nobody else would do
Making sure the engines constantly would run

If deflector shields were needed when contending with Khan
You'd find me within our technology
If there was a mouse inside I'd know before the crew
Thus keeping the war disaster-free

When returning to Kirk's humble Golden State abode
He purred making Kirk smile when Spock was gone
Always ready with a smile and a cup of tea waiting
For Quasar won't let anything go wrong

Scotty always finds him for a smooth running engine and Spock
praises Scott for being wise
They ought to reflect that it was very nice
To know that they wouldn't be bothered by mice

They can leave all that to The Starfleet Cat
The Cat of the Enterprise

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Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 2

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