"Scouser Birds (1962)"
by John Bruceton (apologies to Bruce Johnston)

Hair that's dyed, and bloodshot eyes
With a toothless smile
Crumpled clothes that clearly shows
No taste or style

You've done some crime, but served your time,
God help your soul,
Now I'll fill your hands
With ciggies and a sausage roll

Its plain to see, you're not for me
Don't make me laugh,
Four-letter words, and Scouser birds
Forget it wack!

Smoking hash, and hiding cash
Inside my sock
Dealing smack, and selling crack
From my garage
Rainy days in a boozy haze

Never slowed you down
Forget Liverpool
I'd rather live
In another town

Stolen cars and fights in bars
And getting sacked
Four-letter words, and Scouser birds
Forget it wack!

Duh !.... Hi Wack and Dave
Guess what I've lost our Rick
Duh ! .... My head hurts really bad
And I've just been sick
Rick's now in jail
Charged with
Affray, and possession of a deadly weapon

All my life too many nights
Locked up with you
In a prison cell
Knowing just too well
It was down to you

You've been around a bit
And you've got a kid
But some things you lack
Like some place to go
And all you know
Is his Dad was black

So take a hike,
And on yer bike!
With you're 'soft lad'
Four-letter words, and Scouser birds
I won't be back !