Here comes the telemark'ter, second time tonight
Try to eat my dinner, but I couldn't get a bite
How many times I tell them to go and take a hike
If I had a rocket launcher... I'd squash those parasites!

I don't want no insurance. I don't want a rebate.
I'm tired of your sales pitch, I want to clean my plate
I hang up on these b@st@rds from six o'clock to eight
If I had a rocket launcher... they would not call my place!

They talk about long distance, they ask about my kids
I pause and I wonder just who the hell this is
Cry out of frustration, my blood begins to fizz
If I had a rocket launcher... I would blow off some lids!

I'm getting calls from Sprint, and some from MCI
Every time I think about it, fire burns within my eyes
Now my dinner's stone, My burger and my fries
If I had a rocket launcher, they'd sure get some surprise!