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Song Parodies -> "Ring Goes Into the Fire"

Original Song Title:

"We Didn't Star the Fire"

Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:

"Ring Goes Into the Fire"

Parody Written by:

Brad Snyder

The Lyrics

(another Lord of the Rings parody, submitted for the Billy Joel April Fool's Day Challenge) Sauron was a HUGE (pun intended) prankster! He was always coming up with unexpected ways of taking over Middle Earth, totally surprising the good guys pretty much every time! Such a rascal! Anyway, I guess our heroes actually ended up pulling off the biggest prank - blowing up Sauron’s house! Who’s the fool now, Eye wonder?!
[artist: Rilly Olde]

[I: Fellowship of the Ring]
Lady narrates, clues us in: rings, elves and dwarves and men.
Big bad Sauron has a Master Ring to rule them all.
Good and evil - battling. The Villain takes out Papa King. “Yeah,
Anyone can change the course; don’t matter if they’re small.”

Elrond tells new king, “Gotta end Power Ring!”
Takes it to mountain flame. He won’t chuck it. What a shame.
Prince gets arrows in back. Ring is lost, and that’s that.
Little hand pops on the screen, and grabs the ring. Now it’s back!

Ring goes into the fire. ’Sildur wouldn’t do it. Guess he kinda blew it.
Ring goes into the fire. ’Cause he wanted power, now there’s twelve more hours!

Gandalf visits hobbit town. Birthday Eleventy-One.
Uncle Bilbo disappears. The ring’s left behind.
Frodo and his crew hit a tavern, drink brew.
Meet a Ranger - shifts their paradigm.

Nazgul. Black robes. Dudes that glide on ash 'n' smoke.
Find the five at Weather-top. Clear out when it gets too hot.
Horse-flood. Wraiths in mud. Poison in the ‘bearer’s blood.
Wakes up in Pixie-ville. Four more join the Ring Guild!

Ring goes into the fire. Now they’re nine courageous on a quest audacious.
Ring goes into the fire. Such a motley posse. Mood’s a little frosty!

Avalanche. Khazad-Tomb. Massive Balrog: “Whip O’ Dûm”.
Mage falls, so they run on to Lothlorien!
Frodo splits, paddles off. Sam goes in, is hob-washed!
Proud warrior stands his ground. Giant arrows take him down!

[II: The Two Towers]
Hobbit heroes press on with just their carry-on.
Close behind, Gol-lum wants his “Precious” from them.
Meanwhile, trackers three search for two who met a tree.
Forest buddies take down “Franken-wizard”s playground!

Search party led by Strider braves the Fangorn Forest; calls off Gandalf’s florist.
Rohan is under fire. Uruk-hai are winning. Gandalf sends ’em spinning!

Gollum strikes, gets caught. Frodo shares a quick thought:
Let him guide them to their destination.
Gollum A and Gollum B talk it out, but can’t agree.
Black Gate. Dead swamp. Faramir. Now they’re off!

[III: Return of the King]
Smeagol’s hist’ry - So much for that mystery!
They move out. Fishy route. Can’t trust that one, ain’t a doubt!

Gollum gets Samwise fired. Lures the loopy Frodo to a trap arach-no.
Brave Sammy shanks the spider. Now the mighty Shelob is a spidey-kebob!

Pippin’s got bowling ball: “EYE CAN SEE YOU!! WHERE Y’ALL?!!”
Strider says “Hey! Here I am! Let’s play!”
“Son died. I’m fried!” –Denethor. Elrond forges broke sword.
Trio enters Paths of Dead. Opaque green guys, shred ahead!

Back-up band takes action by causing a distraction while
Little guys in disguise pass by Eerie Eye.
Just when hope seems all but gone, war appears it can’t be won,
Gollum gnaws. A digit falls. Ring’s in meltdown. Cue applause!

Ring went into the fire, right along with Gollum. “Precious” made him fall in.
Ring went into the fire. Movie should be done.
Ending still goes on…and on…and on…and on…
And on…and on…and on…and on…and on.

Ring went into the fire. Frodo’s friends surround him. Aragorn is crowned king.
Ring went into the fire. White-ship takes both Baggins’.
Sam is home. And “The Ends”!

We should be really tired, ’cause the matinee went on for half a day, but
We’re still a little wired, so back in we’re goin’ - watch another showin’.

We’re viewin’ the entire trilogy extended, properly amended.
Once more into the Shire. Worth another look. Don’t wanna read the book, no!

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   2
 4   1
 5   7

User Comments

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Claude Prez - March 30, 2018 - Report this comment
As someone who recently parodied this, let me say that you have my congratulations for finishing and my condolences for the frustration you surely went through. Not big on LOTR but I did like all the references about how looooong the movies are. My favorite parts of the parody were when you mirrored the original by listing, like the "Nazgul, black robes..." verse. But well done overall, and nice job rationalizing the challenge parameters too; glad to see you participate!
Michael Pacholek - March 30, 2018 - Report this comment
I once thought of "We Must Defend the Shire," but, as with my later unfamiliarity to "Game of Thrones" and "Total Eclipse of the Starks" (see Phil Alexander), I simply couldn't get beyond the title.
Brad Snyder - March 30, 2018 - Report this comment
Prez: Thanks for the great comments. I'm surprised you're not a fan of LOtR, but that's cool. Believe it or not, I loved the ending(s). I got the extended versions of both Lord of the Rings AND The Hobbit, 'cause I couldn't get enough of Peter Jackson's Middle Earth. I can watch them in all sequence, in a few sittings of course. I also appreciate you noticing the mirroring. I enjoy doing that sometimes, if I can make it work. Yes, I did rationalize the entry. I had something different in mind, but I told a friend about this challenge, and he then challenged me with both the song and the subject to parody. Now that was interesting! I hadn't picked either one! But it was good fun. Anyway, parody on, Prez!
Brad Snyder - March 30, 2018 - Report this comment
Hey, Michael. I like your title idea. Yeah, it can be tough sometimes to get even a great title into a parody, but it looks like you can! I perused the first page of your entries, the titles, and some of the lyrics, and they're really creative! And at least on the songs I know, the meter is spot on! Hey, I get the impression you're not a huge fan of Gee-Dub. But that's just my take, you know, from the titles! B > P arody on, Michael!
Stuart McArthur - March 30, 2018 - Report this comment
Huge effort Brad. This would be about the million and sixth LOTR-inspired amiright parody, but I've never seen one to WDSTF before. Sadly though, all the gems are wasted on me as I've never seen a movie let alone read one of the books. Yes, I know it's my loss, a loss that's been pointed out to many many times on these amiright pages - great stuff - 555
Agrimorfee - March 31, 2018 - Report this comment
Fantastic synopsis! I am a fan of the cinematic trilogy as well...can't deal with the books.
Peter Andersson - March 31, 2018 - Report this comment
My favorite part was where Gollum A and Gollum B was AB-testing arguments! ;-)
Brad Snyder - March 31, 2018 - Report this comment
Stuart, thanks for the comments. It’s cool that you liked it even though you’re not a LOtR fan. WDStF (I had to look that up, can you believe it? Like, d-oh!) was a good match, lending itself to a lot of detail (and a few goofy puns). And don’t worry, I would never be one of those people that insists you’re missing out on one of the greatest movie trilogies of all time, or that you should set aside an entire weekend, rent all three in their extended versions, and check them out ASAP. Nor would I say that you’ll thank me later, or anything like that. Nope, never. Not how I roll. But seriously, I really appreciate the 555s, Stuart.
Brad Snyder - March 31, 2018 - Report this comment
Thanks, Peter. Gollum A/B is one of my favorite lines as well. Fun fact (for me anyway) - it was a “happy accident”, but I didn’t realize until after I had written that part how much it sounded like “column A and column B”. Love it when stuff happens like that. Glad you liked it.
Brad Snyder - March 31, 2018 - Report this comment
Hey, Agrimorfee! Always happy to see your comments. And finally, another Lord of the Rings fan! For my part, I did get to read the books first, and it was a tough go, getting through them all. Including The Hobbit, the entire series (4 books) took me five years (!) to complete. I started when I was in the Navy (‘77-‘81), and didn’t finish until I had been out a couple of years (another highlight of my life - getting out, I mean!). Awesome having feedback from both sides, so to speak. Thanks, man!
Andy Primus - March 31, 2018 - Report this comment
Hi Brad, I’ve been absent for a few years so haven’t seen any of your previous entries. Unfortunately, this one is gobbledegook to me as I haven’t read or seen Rings. Just looked at your list & 3 of your 12 I’ve also done (Desperado, Fave Things & That’s Amore). I’ll try to check them out when I get time.
Brad Snyder - April 01, 2018 - Report this comment
Hey, Andy. Honored to have an alumni check out one of my submissions. Sorry this one’s difficult to understand, but I get it. Sometimes my parodies can be too narrow in scope, both by my song and/or subject choice. That tends to alienate a majority of viewers, leaving only a handful who can that can follow the “storyline”. The three parodies you mentioned should make a lot more sense. Quite a coincidence that three out of my fourteen submissions are of tunes you parodied as well. That’s pretty cool. If you do check them out, or any of my other submissions, and want to comment, positively or constructively, I would welcome it. Few vote, and fewer comment, so any time I get an honest response to what I’ve written, I don’t take it lightly. Parody on, Andy!

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