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Song Parodies -> "Tell Her To Shove It, Charlie Brown"

Original Song Title:

"Tell Her About It"

Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:

"Tell Her To Shove It, Charlie Brown"

Parody Written by:

Stuart McArthur

The Lyrics

Dear Charlie Brown: Eighty times! You’ve asked Lucy Van Pelt to hold your football eighty f***ing times! And she’s punked you eighty f***ing times! Stand up for yourself, Charlie Brown, because…

Listen boy
I don’t think that Lucy really wants to hold your ball
Y’know the word is out that
she’s the reason that
your kicking skills have stalled
It is not because
she can’t keep the ball on grass
she just simply likes to see you fall on your ass

Oh listen boy
I’m sure you’re assuming that she won’t do it this time
(and that OJ’s gonna catch the bastard who committed all those crimes)
You’re a big boy now
and it’s time to change your views
That Van Pelt girl is totally bad news

Tell her you’ve had it
Tell her “uh-uh, not this dude!
Eighty times I’ve trusted
you, you’re really really rude”

Tell her to shove it
Tell her “Don’t mess with me, MATE!
Charlie Brown’s too sassy
to make eighty-one mistakes.”

Listen boy
it’s not necessarily just YOU who Lucy punks
She got Linus in a tizz by pretending
that his blanket must’ve shrunk.
and poor Schroeder had
his white keys painted black
so you really hafta go on the attack

Tell her you’ve had it,
that her ball-swipe days are done!
Tell her you might…
you’ll uh…
you’ll er…
go and tell her mum

Tell her you’ve had it!
Watch out or I’ll think of
maybe asking someone else.”

coz now and then
you’ve gotta factor in…
landing ON your head is not a good outcome.
Because it may cause spinal damaging,
and your healthcare might not cover you for “dumb”

Listen boy
I know you are hung up
on that little red-haired chick
Got a hunch that she
ain’t impressed C.B.
is such a sucker for this trick.
She’s a pretty girl -
she WON’T stay on the shelf
also Pig-pen’s now deodorising himself

Tell her to shove it,
that you’ve had a wake-up call!
YOU will not air-kick again that dumb Lucille ball

Tell her to also
shove her psychiatric booth!
Tell that mean fussbudget
that she “can’t handle the truth!”

Tell her to shove it!
YOU are not one OF her schmucks

Tell her you’ve had it!
Tell her that her baseball sucks!

Y’gotta tell her to shove it!
Tell her she shouldn’t be so cruel!

Y’gotta tell her you’ve had it!
Tell her you’re no april fool!

ah, what the hell
You’re not gonna do it, are ya buddy?
Nuthin’s gonna change, is it mate?
ah, fuggeddaboudit

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 17

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   15

User Comments

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Matthias - March 30, 2018 - Report this comment
Good ol Charlie Brown. The universe’s punching bag. This was really funny with plenty of great references to the original Peanuts comic books
Agrimorfee - March 30, 2018 - Report this comment
Good grief, that was great! It should be noted that she DID let him kick on one momentous occasion (it is one of the cartoons...I forget which one...)
Jonathan - March 30, 2018 - Report this comment
^ never saw that one! anyway, good parody! I did one about Charlie Brown, too! a few years back, it was set to "Bad, Bad Leroy Brown." 5s
Michael Pacholek - March 30, 2018 - Report this comment
Y'know, it never occurred to me until just now: All those times ol' Chuck falls flat on his back with a "WHUMP!" and yet he's always complaining, "My stomach hurts." An 8-year-old with ulcers, can you believe it?
Peregrin - March 30, 2018 - Report this comment
Wow! That took me right back to my childhood, Stu, thanks very much :) I also remember the strip that Agri does, where she finally relents. Thought the Lucille Ball reference was very clever, and was glad to see the Psychiatric Help booth made an appearance as well. Now here's what made me laugh just that little bit more! You told me that there was something in your parody that I could relate to (being my avatar). As I read through the parody I started chucking, because when I first joined a messageboard in the early 2000s, I needed a username, and everything I tried was taken. In the end, I thought "what will no-one else possibly have?" - and I came up with (I kid you not): FussBudgetVanPelt. A name I still use to this day on other sites, though often shortened to FussBudget. Back to the parody, a masterpiece of pop culture. Clearly you are a man with too much humour issues, so I bestowing 555 cents for your attendance at Lucy's booth.
Claude Prez - March 30, 2018 - Report this comment
Wait, 80 times?!? Yes, that's a lot, but who the hell was counting? Just wondering. Also, "that dumb Lucille ball"??? How did I never think of THAT?? Anyway, this was just great. Paced perfectly, all kinds of funny stuff like the OJ line and "think of maybe asking someone else". Awesome.
Claude Prez - March 30, 2018 - Report this comment
WAITWAITWAIT! Peregrin is "Fussbudget Van Pelt" from the messageboard??? No way! Ha ha I remember you were ALL OVER that place back in the day! Anyway, I had no idea. Back to our regularly scheduled swooning over this excellent parody.
Peregrin-FBVP - March 30, 2018 - Report this comment
Yep, one and the same, multiple personalities, quite fitting for a muddled mind! Hello!
Stuart McArthur - March 30, 2018 - Report this comment
Thanks Matty - such an everyman, that CB - er, everyboy

I think I do recall that, Ag, and so she should, although if I were Luce I would've gone for triple figures before I let him off

thanks Jonathan

Good point MP

Thanks Pippin! I should've put Snoopy in, shouldn't I. I don't know how I missed him. And I shouldn't have missed Good Grief too. I knew that you were Fussbudget Van Pelt for some reason. Was that your name on inthe00s, maybe?

Ah, thanks so much Claude. Yes, 80 times! I thought everybody knew that. No, it was just that eighty-one worked better for my "CB's too sassy to make eighty-one mistakes" gag than five-hundred-and-seventy-seven, which I believe is the more accurate figure.

Stewie Fan - March 30, 2018 - Report this comment
You nailed this one. Loved it and fave ref is "Lucille ball". Inspired? I think so. No mention of Snoopy and that "hey stupid cat" he always yelled while shaking his fist in the face of that anonomous feline. That reminds me of the Kevin Costner movie "Dances With Wolves" with Mary Mcdonnell whose name was "Stands With Fist".

There were so many "Peanuts" characters to fit into one parody and this was about April fools starring Charlie Brown and Lucy Van Pelt so understandably you can't get them all.

Back in the day before cell phones and the like I played an April fools prank on a co-worker. This was back when one phone in the work place served many people and if the person wasn't there you took a message on a yellow pad that was designed for that purpose. I looked up the name of a well known funeral home and where it said you were called by, I wrote Myra Mains and put the call back number for the funeral parlor, then the message said please call back and ask for Myra Mains. The mark of the prank came back in, saw the call back message dialed the number and asked for Myra Mains, then he had the most confused look on his face. You see he asked if Myra Mains was there and the person answering the phone said, sorry we buried them yestrday.

Keep up the great work Stuart.
Melanie Lee - March 31, 2018 - Report this comment
Hey, how do know her real name isn't Lucinda? And who plays football on April 1? Just pulling your leg...or your football! Score: 555 to !!!
Peter Andersson - March 31, 2018 - Report this comment
Ow my balls!
Andy Primus - March 31, 2018 - Report this comment
Good one. That just reminded me of a 70s poster. Snoopy laying on his back on his kennel with Woodstock sitting on him. Another thing that sprang to mind was “PEANUTS…Golden Wonder…they’re jungle fresh” (fellow Brits of my age would get that - & possibly Pippin?)
Peregrin - April 01, 2018 - Report this comment
No Andy, sorry, that one has gone through to the keeper...
Phil Alexander - April 01, 2018 - Report this comment
This is possibly my favourite parody of the decade so far :-D
DoRitos - April 01, 2018 - Report this comment
Stuart, It's me, I'm "Stewie Fan" in the above comment.
Andy Primus - April 01, 2018 - Report this comment
Pippin - it was a TV advert from when I was a kid
Stuart McArthur - April 02, 2018 - Report this comment
Hi Guy. Yes I had you narrowed to you, JD, and Dee Range. But I was leaning towards you. Thanks for the nice words and it’s good to reconnect.

Thanks Melanie. Yes, I took a punt (geddit) on Lucille, or else I had no gag!

Ta Andy. That whole Snoopy/Woodstock dynamic deserves a parody of its own.

Thanks Phil. You had me at “favourite” but you had me more at “decade”. Shucks I’m sure that’s not true. There’s a lot of old time SOTM quality stuff surfacing with this reunion idea. Looking forward to more of yours.
2Eagle - April 03, 2018 - Report this comment
Whew! After reading all the above comments I'm putting in my two cents worth. Does anyone remember the very last strip that implied that Charlie got to kick the football? Now if Charlie knew the word "givalt"....
Watch This - April 03, 2018 - Report this comment
TJC - April 04, 2018 - Report this comment
Awesome parody with nary a misstep, Stu---you are truly on the ball!
Stuart McArthur - April 09, 2018 - Report this comment
Thanks for the read 2Eagle

That is hilarious, watch this, ha, and well overdue recompense

thanks TJC!

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