Guys were dumb but really smarties
Knuckleheaded, nitwit stories
Stooges came and poked out eyes again
High-baloney vaudeville fun
Was enjoyed by Dad and Mum
Sometimes unemployed but picked up work for change

They commanded on the com’dy throne
Were locked in slapstick style zone
Ever strove for jokester cackles at the pain
For a better life they strived
Three to bed in sleazy dives
But I’ll tell you, Junior: don’t hear them complain

You Moe be right
Why, Curly’s crazy
And it’s just those two with Larry Fine, I leaned toward
Shemp din’t seem right
Curly-Joe? Save me
And he was wrong, that single Joe
But first three were right

“I’ll moider ya” – is crowned with stare
And thrown in with a manic glare
They told no dirty jokes to make me smile
“Say, wake up and go to sleep”
Belly-ached at those black sheep
'Cause the boys deployed some madness that’s worthwhile

Now think of all their jeers and snide too
Trine dumb chumps to gratify you
“Why I oughtta” - “Oh, a wise guy, hey?”
If as lamebrains they’re construed
Then that soit-enly is true
Would be less than poi-fect any other way

You Moe be right
And they be crazy
But switched on to find the Stooge-a-tics I yearn-ed for
They berate and fight
They debate bird-brainly
You mix headstrong with much gusto
Then you Moe be right

You Moe be right
Wry guys were lazy
Though I laughed with glee at imbeciles I looked upon
Don’t like? Your plight!
Ah, now’t, there’s to save ye
Careers were long so nyuk nyuk nyuk
They’re sure alright

Now PC-wrong, but they hit the heights
They may seem wrong but you Moe be right

(Repeat with Curly whoop-whoop-whooping in circles on the floor...)