I've had enough of this Helene Fischer;
She's on all networks in Germany.
Oh, that she disappeared from the airwaves
Of the Z.D.F. or A.R.D.!(1)

Her music's designed for the 85-year-olds;
Why she is so popular, God only knows.
It could be that her looks found favour 'mid the young;
But when such is the case, you know that something's wrong.

So let's all boycott this Helene Fischer
'Til her hype fades away and then dies
Like the bubbles at West Ham United
As they ride into East London's sky. (2)

There are better acts a-waiting in the wings,
But they are hard to find long as Helene sings.
The German pop scene we can always give a look
'Cos Wir sind Helden beats all schlager on the books!

Don't you dare go to see Helene Fischer
If you vacation in Germany.
Tell your friends and your family to keep out
Of her gigs to maintain sanity.

(Instrumental)

Now, I've heard all of Helene's covers
In the language I first learned to speak.
But, she has covered the songs Eric Carmen
Wrote to make adult males really freak!

I know the charts consider not the schlager songs;
But they are found on radio stations all along.
I hear them all the time that I'm on German roads;
Helene Fischer does make me want to explode!
Kill the radio...(4x)