Note: For a family-friendly G-rated version, substitute “Upbound Girl” for “Up-Yours Girl”

Tune of Uptown Girl (as danced by Amy Schumer in “Trainwreck”)
[parody lament of the book publisher dumped by Ms. Schumer]

(Dough-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-
Dough-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)

Up-Yours Girl,
She’s now living in her Up-Yours world
I bet her agents made her stop that deal
I bet they told her it was just a steal
‘Cause her appeal -

Means that Up-Yours Girl
Is real big here in this upscale world
As long as she is sure to sell that book
They had to get her off that low-paid hook
It’s worth a look

And when they know she’d get eight times the pri-i-ice
They’ll fix it so she can take their advi-i-ice
They’ll see the deal is squelched
But don’t say that she welched
She’s an -

Up-Yours Girl
Hey, I don’t want to be a bitter churl
But everybody knows that eight beats one
And when it’s millions, eight is lots more fun
That deal is done

Eight and six oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh’s
(oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Eight and six oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh’s
(oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)

Up-Yours Girl, she’s our Up-Yours Girl
The world is in love with that Up-Yours Girl