Marry conman? "no way!" so said Anne Hathaway
Cherry chapstick, kissed a girl; Phelps gets the gold
Paul McCartney divorcin'; Superbowl - the Giants win
Jacko's career to diarrhea, Neverland is sold

Facebook dot com; Rock of Love; Kardashian
A-Rod she first denied, but then Madonna split with Guy
Miley/Hannah’s sixteen; Aiken is an out queen
Sex and the City, Twilight, Iron Man and Dark Knight

A wrapup is required
Gossip's always churning
Another year is turning
These asshats we admired
No we won't admit it
So we try to spin it

Obama and Biden, McCain and Palin
Who is dumber? Joe the Plumber, what in the f**k?

Giuliani, Romney, John Edwards, and Hilary
Breaking down all the walls, Congrats to Barack

If you like it, put a ring; Heidi Montag tries to sing
Axl’s album, China ban, Dr. Pepper, a free can

The very humble KANYE WEST, with auto-tune he’s obsessed
Britney’s crazy, Britney’s sane, the music still sucks anyway!

A wrapup is required
Gossip's always churning
Another year is turning
These asshats we admired
No we won't admit it
So we try to spin it

Paul Newman, Isaac Hayes, Tim Russert, and Bettie Page
Heston, Bernie Mac, Carlin, and Pollack

Estelle Getty, Cyd Charrise, Heath Ledger, Rest in Peace
So hard to say goodbye.... wait, Amy Winehouse didn’t die?

Halle had a baby, so did Nic Richie
Jess Alba, J-Lo, Keith Urban and Nicole

Brangie, Christina A, even Matt McConaughey,
Britney’s sister, ut oh, didn’t use birth control!


A wrapup is required
Gossip's always churning
Another year is turning
These asshats we admired
No we won't admit it
So we try to spin it

"By the way," said Silverman, "I'm f**king Matt Damon"
Jess Simpson - has-been, won't stop blabbin
Winners Philadelphia; Jonas Brothersmania
"Not cool" this again? - Jolie vs. Aniston

Locklear under arrest; Spitzer paid a lot for sex
Prop 8: not fair to gays; OJ's finally put away!!

A wrapup is required
Gossip's always churning
Another year is turning
These asshats we admired
No we won't admit it
So we try to spin it

Gossip Girl, Mad Men, Brenda Walsh is back again
Guest spots, Cook rocked, Tina Fey’s Palin mock
Reality on the incline with writers on the picket line
The best villain that we had was Archuletta’s stage dad

Mortgage crisis, market dive, financial suicide
Too much debt, layoff threats, CEO’s still on their jets
Auto execs take the floor, government bailouts they score
Slip into recession more, now everybody’s f**king poor!

A wrapup is required
Gossip's always churning
Another year is turning

A wrapup is required
And now the year gone
But bulls*t still goes on, and on, and on, and on...