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Song Parodies -> "Firing the 800mm Kanone"

Original Song Title:

"Walk Like an Egyptian"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Firing the 800mm Kanone"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

The monster German artillery pieces Gustav and Dora (plus a third giant never completed at Essen) were the largest cannons in history that were used briefly in Russia from 1942-43 and then withdrawn and dismantled... no one knows why, it remains a mystery. They were originally intended to bombard and take apart the French Maginot Line but neither cannon was finished on time which made Hitler angry. Gustav was finished by 1942 and Dora a little later. The third gun was never completed, but a smaller Cross Channel 520mm cannon was contemplated using the same carriage. With rocket assisted sabot shells the Germans would have wreaked havoc on England in a wide arc, but then the air retaliation would destroy them as they could not be concealed.
All the Soviet targets were doomed
They were demolished, don'cha know?
All over Sevastopol (16 km-away-Oh)
48 shots in a row, the fortifications all fell like dominos

And then the huge Gustav cannon was sent back to Essen
Re-lined barrel, fired 300 shots
4.73 ton projectiles, range- 29 miles (Far-away-Oh)
The officials at Krupp could only smile

German troops servicing the Giant sing:
Firing the 800mm Kanone

Meanwhile the Dora was on her way
Sent to Stalingrad to make war
But she had to move (Far-away-Oh)
As Soviet counterattacks grew closer

Gustav and Dora then disappeared
The Soviet targets they could not get near
Then something was weird (Taken-away-Oh)
They dismantled the 800mm Kanone

All the German engineers say:
Firing the 800mm Kanone

It had taken 1500 men
Three weeks to assemble each cannon
Further more each cannon weighed 1500 tons
Under a Generalmajor (Underway-Oh)
That’s an incredible 3 million lbs!!!

By May 1945,
Both the guns had been chopped
into pieces and scattered (No-Way-No)
Found in Bavaria and the Leipzig area

All the German engineers with their plans
Came up with a 520mm version
The Lange Gustav (118 mile range-Oh)
A Cross-Channel bombardment gun

But that was never meant to be, sing:
Way-no-way-no-way-no air protection...
(They missed)
Firing the 800mm Kanone
Firing the 800mm Kanone

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   4

User Comments

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Wild Child JIN - May 12, 2011 - Report this comment
"Fire at will!!" "Um, which one is Will?", ;-D This one winds it all up with a big bang!" 5's! :-)
Rob Arndt - May 13, 2011 - Report this comment
The Gustav and Dora were monsters!!!

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