Have your friends convinced you
To try a little glass
A beer's not going to kill you kill you
But you might become a jackass jackass

Cigarettes aren't addictive
They'll mellow you out
You're far to up tight up tight
Of that I have no doubt no doubt

Sober Irish, Sober Sober Irish
Sober Irish, Sober Sober Irish

Don't drink don't smoke - what do you do?
Don't drink don't smoke - what do you do?
Subtle innuendos follow
There must be something he's hiding

It's a stereotype
That all the Irish are drunk
It's a persistent rumor rumor
That I want to debunk debunk

When they see me coming
They laugh and they sneer
It's as if I have a red nose red nose
I'm not a normal reindeer reindeer

No one's gonna tell me
What's wrong or what's right
I know I'll never pass out pass out
I can treat my women all right all night

I'll never do drugs
I stay sober so I'll sing
I won't have to visit the slammer slammer
I won't pray to the toilet king toilet king

If that's what it takes
To have some good times
I'd rather be boring boring
And pump out more of my rhymes my rhymes

Sober Irish, Sober Sober Irish
Sober Irish, Sober Sober Irish

Don't drink don't smoke - what do you do?
Don't drink don't smoke - what do you do?
Subtle innuendos follow
There must be something he's hiding