Truth is out, about my snout
Pharmacies with anti-doubts
Work and struggle, they try to cure
They could try it double, my flu'll still endure
I am fricking ill, I have ringing ears
Paid good money, just to leave a smear
I've got cream in sinus, lips that are sore
Double sneezing, down on all four
Cold and hurt in flashy haze
Just told my kin that they're gonna face

Snotty nostrils' domain
Snotty nostrils' domain
Snotty nostrils' domain
Snotty nostrils' domain
Snotty nostrils!

Phlegm with blood, I'm a wrap of moan
Sick leave message, on the mail and phone
"Come on over, you who spam
I'll give you my fever-snot, a kilogram"
Little yellow balls, coming down the track
Nostrils clogging, when I'm on my back
I'll have septal trouble, it'll cave in on me
Plastic surgeon, I'll have to see
Nosegayed Jackson's, told away
He said that garlic's not his bouquet

Snotty nostrils my bane
Snotty nostrils my bane
Snotty nostrils my bane
Snotty nostrils my bane
Snotty nostrils!

Repeat chorus
(in increasingly nasal voice)