(sung)
Exxxxxxcuse me, Mr. Riff Raff, our car's out in the rain
It's really cold and chilly, and boy is it a pain
We blew a single tire, we also had a spare
Golly moses, it ain't got no air

Gee, Richard O'Brien, your show is a hit
Some people think it's corny 'cause they're nothing but spit
It's got a real strange plot like no movie should
All of the critics think it' good
It is good
It is good, it is good, it is goddamn good
Every critic thinks that it is good

(spoken)
BRAD: Hi. My name's Brad Majors, and this is my fiancée Janet Weiss. I wonder if you might help us - you see our car broke down a few miles back... do you have a phone we might use?
RIFF: You're wet.
JANET: Yes... It's raining.

(sung)
Aaaa question, Mr. Riff Raff, just what do you have planed
They have all done the Time Warp, like thier some sort of clan
We need to make a phone call, is that so much to ask
Holy Jesus, who the hell is that

It's Dr. Frank Furter, Tim Curry to some
He wants to make a man who's got a really tight bum
Who'd guess that he'd do it, someone send the word
This guy is mentaly disturbed
He's disturbed
He's disturbed, he's disturbed, someone plucked his nerve
'Cause this guy is mentaly disturbed

(spoken)
FRANK: Well really, that's no way to behave on your first day out. But seeing as you're such an exceptional beauty... I am prepared to forgive you. Oh I just love success.
RIFF: He's a credit to your genius, master.
MAGENTA: A triumph of your will.
COLUMBIA: He's OK!
FRANK: OK? O.K.?! I think we can do better than that

(sung)
Saaaay, Dr. Frank-N-Furter, I want an answer please
After you slept with Janet, why did you sleep with me
Now Janet has gone missing, and Rocky has gone too
Goodness gracious, what are we to do

Say, Dr. Scott is here, he'll solve the thing out
Say Riff did you say earthling, what is that all about
She's here in the fish tank, with Rocky her pick
Janet, you make me really sick
You are sick
You are sick, you are sick, you are sick, sick, sick
You're a slut, and thus that makes you sick

(spoken)
SCOTT: Janet!
JANET: Dr. Scott!
BRAD: Janet!
JANET: Brad!
FRANK: Rocky!
ROCKY: (looks over)
SCOTT: Janet!
JANET: Dr. Scott!
BRAD: Janet!
JANET: Brad!
FRANK: Rocky!
ROCKY: (looks over)
SCOTT: Janet!
JANET: Dr. Scott!
BRAD: Janet!
JANET: Brad!
FRANK: Rocky!
ROCKY: (looks over)

(sung)
Deeear hostly Frank-N-Furter, it's great that we all eat
We have been here for hours, we'd better take a seat
You pull the whole cloth over, and nothing can be said
Sweet Virginia, it's that biker Ed

You're really confusing, yes you, Dr. Frank
So now you're running after Janet Weiss, who's a skank
You turn us to statues, of stone not of wood
So now we no that you're no good
You're no good
You're no good, you're no good, you're not earthly good
All we know is that you are no good

He claims to be transvestite, with fishnets on his legs
He claims to be a good man, and for his life he begs
He claims he's here in spirit, from anti-matter rays
Now it's over, what more can I say

Hey Richard O'Brien, the show is da bomb
No wonder it's been on for over 20 years long
We've had so much laughs that our stomachs are soooore
Say people who hate it, UP YOURS