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Song Parodies -> "Suicide is Painful"

Original Song Title:

"Suicide Is Painless {Theme from M*A*S*H}"

Original Performer:

TV series M*A*S*H

Parody Song Title:

"Suicide is Painful"

Parody Written by:

Susanna Viljanen

The Lyrics

Suicide is never painless. This song is to the memory of a teenage friend.
Now in the chapel I cry and see
your coffin sliding silently
ashes are to ashes be
I realize and I can see

That Suicide is Painful
It leaves your loved ones mournful
And if you plan; I ask you, Do not, please...

Though in the grave we set your urn
so slowly wheel of time does turn
there's one big question our minds to burn
Why did you do and us so hurt

'Cause Suicide is Painful
It leaves your loved ones mournful
And if you plan; I ask you, Do not, please...

Please try to find a way to make
All our little joys relate
Before you your own life would take
Because then it is too late

As Suicide is Painful
It leaves your loved ones mournful
And if you plan; I ask you, Do not, please...

It's worth to try to carry on
with help of friends it be done
the blues of life be overcome
and find the life joy and fun

'Cause Suicide is Painful
It leaves your loved ones mournful
And if you plan; I ask you, Do not, please...

The game of life is hard to play
but who says to loose it anyway
- tomorrow is another day
So this is all I have to say

That Suicide is Painful
It leaves your loved ones mournful
And if you plan; I ask you, Do not, please...

And don't commit it if you plan it, please!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.1
How Funny: 3.6
Overall Rating: 4.1

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   1
 3   0
 4   1
 5   6

User Comments

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Paul Robinson - October 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Susanna - losing good friends or loved ones even under natural causes is rough enough. Suicide sort of twists the dagger in your insides a little extra...5's...It so happens I was listening to a song this morning about the death, supposedly suicide, of a friend of the writer's from her teen-age years. A beautiful but totally heart-wrenching song.
Diddims - October 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Well said! I suffer from depression and have often contemplated (and tried) suicide, but I managed to pull out each time, mainly for the sake of my family. I'm not surprised that more gay, lesbian, transgender, and bisexual people contemplate and commit suicide than straight people, especially teenagers. I'm one such gay teen, so how do you think it makes me feel when somebody says "faggot!", "queer!", "that's so gay!", and so on? That and all of the prejudice that makes me cringe, and the fact that I very much want somebody in my life often made me say "Oh my God, why?! Isn't there any hope?! Isn't there any way out?!... perhaps I should just end it..." I'm glad that I was able to stop myself. Suicide may end the suffering, but it breaks off all of your other chances, namely at happiness. If I want to get somewhere in life, if I want a sweetheart, I should keep those feelings at bay and seek help. The depressed (and oppressed) have the choice of giving up everything or trusting themselves and running with that. Choose the latter of those.
Paul Robinson - October 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Diddims - look for the brighter day - you're just a teen-ager, so it's there somewhere, no matter what your problem or situation might be, I swear it's true, but ya gotta hang in there. As far as people calling you names, give some thought as to whether those people are among those you respect. If they are not then why would it matter to you what they think and why should you care, anyway? You need not even reply, in fact it's better if you don't, that can be dangerous with the small-minded types of this world. Keep your head up high and walk on People, especially teen-agers, pack plenty of their own hang-ups and insecurities and some feel that the only way they can validate themselves is to denigrate and lower those around them. Doesn't work...just spreads more grief around. Hey, right now I'm listening to the latest album by the Pretenders....yeah, old-timers, for sure. Chrissie Hynde is my age (54). She's singing this great number called "You Know Who Your Friends Are" The chorus? "You know who your friends are / they're the ones who want to see you go far / you know who your friends are." Name of the album is "Loose Screw" and I highly recommend it to everybody, great stuff.
Susanna Viljanen - October 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Awww, Diddims... *hugs*! I know what it is to be a teenager and when everything doesn't go by the script - I wrote about it on my song "At 33" ( While I'm not lesbian, what comes to to sexual minorities is that we have a friend who has gone through sex change. Having seen it, I can assure there is nothing fun in on transsexualism but it is a fate you don't wish to your worst enemy. That is why I don't accept gay-bashing or mocking lesbians either; it just forced me to check my attitude. Hang in there - life will be easier when you gain some more years and people around you grow adult. You are talented - you know Gaelic, and perhaps this site will act as a snorkel to you when you feel you are about to drown under the teenage worries.

Paul - Chrissie Hynde is one of my all-time favourites. I have liked The Pretenders since their album "Learning to Crawl" (1982). I appreciate all those woman artists, who make their own songs and who have something touching to say, and names such as Suzanne Vega (my namesake!), Chrissie Hynde, Sally Oldfield and k.d. lang are far higher on my list of appreciation than just cheap studio clones la Spice Girls.
Diddims - October 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Thank you. I'm happy to say that I am doing well and that I have much support. After all, I do have my life ahead of moi, and, despite that there will be plenty of backstabbers out there, I think that, if I'm as persistent as I am, I'll get to where and what I want. Anybody who thinks that suicide isn't painful is crazy. I am able to cope by writing poetry... to date, 1176 or so as of last May, and most of them in Gaelic... and having to do with my struggles.
Paul Robinson - October 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Diddims - glad you are doing OK and handling things....1176 poems!!! Hmmm...that's about 1166 more poems than I have written to date. It seems when I TRY to write actual poetry I struggle and end up looking at unfinished mish-mosh that fluctuates between "Hallmark"-type sentimentality and a tone that feels pretentious to me. The exception is when I REALLY have something deep inside me to express. It all seems to flow out just right then and feels (and reads) genuine to me.
Paul Robinson - October 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Susanna - I agree with and second your comment, "I appreciate all those woman artists, who make their own songs and who have something touching to say". I would add Joni Mitchell and Tori Amos and the now retired Christine McVie to your list.
Yoidy - November 02, 2006 - Report this comment
I appreciate your anti suicide sentiment. There are some days where I really appreciate the original lyrics to Suicide is Painless, especially when it talks about "the game of life is hard to play, I'm going to lose it anyway," and "the sword of time will pierce our skins." I've decided that you can't play by society's rules, only your own, if you want to last. By that, I mean discard all the material things of value-status,salary, possessions, and other people's approval. Concentrate on your own soul and dreams, love the people in your life who deserve to be loved, and that's it.
Dylan Baranski - November 21, 2006 - Report this comment
Wow! This was so touching! 5s for you. It's too bad your friend's not here to see this. I think I'll show this to my friends & family & spread the word. While I'm at it, I think I'll write some anti-drug & anti-tobacco & anti-drunk driving parodies. Also, while we're on the subject of homosexuality, I believe that, although I'm not a homosexual, America's a free country, & people can be that way if they want to. I also believe that anyone who commits a crime against someone on the basis of their sexuality oughta be tied up to a post & shot in the head at dawn, or something like that. I don't even know why people would commit crimes for that reason. So Diddims, if anyone gives you any trouble about that, just remember that you're in a free country & that those fools have NO RIGHT to pick on you based on your beliefs. However, even if you're not living in America, I believe the same thing applies, nevertheless. Also Diddims, if you are feeling hopeless, just remember that there are people out there who care about you very much & would miss you if you went away. Also, remember that you're not the only one out there. Well, I hope I've given you & others out there hope, because I've got some problems of my own & spreading hope makes me feel a bit better about things.
Don - May 23, 2009 - Report this comment
I don't believe that this should be classed as a 'Parody' since parody usually connotes a funny change and these lyrics are more of an alternate version (without the humor).
To Don - May 23, 2009 - Report this comment
This is Below Average Dave. . .what you just said needs to be read, you answer your own judgment. . .**Usually** funny, Usually--yes--but not always. Parody describes any transformation of an original art to serve a different purpose, in this case awareness/commentary--which is also a common, though less common that humor, but still common reason for parody. Parody is not defined merely by humor, not jumping on cases here, just stating a fact.

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