I don't understand why you poke me
It hurts when I touch you razor hair
The pet store was way out of other cute pets
It's not cool at all to poke me in the head
You've got 75 pieces of hair that poke me, what are you?

Porcupine (Ow, ow, ow, ow)
Poked me seventy-one times (Ow, ow, ow)
Porcupine (Ow, ow, ow, ow)
Poked me seventy-one times (Ow, ow, ow, ow)

My friends never want to visit me
Yeah, ever since I said that you're mine
You poked my girlfriend in the butt when she sat
on you, and the rushed out of the chair, you see?
Ow-ee! you just poked me again and again! Oh boy, does it hurt!

Porcupine (Ow, ow, ow, ow)
Poked me seventy-six times (Ow, ow, ow)
Porcupine (Ow, ow, ow, ow)
Poked me 'bout eighty-two times (Ow, ow, ow, ow)

Ow ow ow ow owwwww ow ow-ee!
I've had to see the doctor six times
per week because you have to nearly kill me!
I'll go back to the store with an attorney
It's not very nice to stab me like this with your razor sharp fur

Porcupine (Ow, ow, ow, ow)
Poked me one hundred times (Ow, ow, ow)
Porcupine (Ow, ow, ow, ow)
Poked me one thousand times (Ow, ow, ow, ow)

It's Case Number 68203
I can't sit down now, lost my sense of feel
You see:
I cannot stand the pain you cause, the things you do,
Too many owwies!
Too mant owwies!
Painful!

Porcupine (Ow, ow, ow, ow)
Poked me 6-6-6 times (Ow, ow, ow)
Porcupine (Ow, ow, ow, ow)
Poked me three billion times (Ow, ow, ow, ow)