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Song Parodies -> "Tie a Crime Scene Ribbon 'round the Lynching Tree"

Original Song Title:

"Tie A Yellow Ribbon 'round the Old Oak Tree"

Original Performer:

Tony Orlando & Dawn

Parody Song Title:

"Tie a Crime Scene Ribbon 'round the Lynching Tree"

Parody Written by:

Mike Littoris

The Lyrics

Much has changed since Tony Orlando & Dawn put out this A-side on record number one in the jukebox from hell around 1973. The basis of the song is that a prisoner has been released from prison after serving 3 years; for what? We don’t know, but later the lyrics say “put the blame on me”. He writes “his love” a letter letting her know he is getting out and wants to know “what is and isn’t mine”. A yellow ribbon tied around the “old oak tree” is the signal if she wants him back. Taking a bus to his hometown the other riders on the bus cheer when hundreds of ribbons are tied to the old oak tree. Told today this story might read like this: Ex-con and registered sex offender rides free public transportation back to the town where he roamed the streets committing his heinous crimes just 3 years ago. Citizens are up in arms and start neighborhood watch program and yellow ribbon campaign to raise awareness of sex offenders living amongst them. Passengers on the bus pushed the fiend from bus when it arrived at his stop happy to see that he would not be continuing on to their neighborhood.
I’m coming home after doing hard time, loving you didn’t used to be a crime
You shoulda got a letter telling you I’d soon be free
Nothing to worry about, you’re too old for me. You’re too old for me.

Tie a crime scene ribbon ‘round the Lynching tree
It’s been ten long years now I’m finally free
I just have to come back home so that I can see
What’s all the fuss, it’s between us, why can’t you just let it be
Last time they almost hanged me from that old tree

There are many people after me. They’re really pissed now that I’m free
I’m in the sex offender registry, listed alphabetically
No tolerance for Short Eyes like me, there are only vigilantes

Tie a crime scene ribbon ‘round the Lynching tree
It’s been ten long years now I’m finally free
I just have to come back home so that I can see
What’s all the fuss, it’s between us, why can’t you just let it be
By now you must be about…. hmmm I’d say twenty three

There’s a big crowd approaching me, for my life I have to plea
I got hanged with a crime scene ribbon from the old Lynching tree

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   1
 4   0
 5   4

User Comments

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2Eagle - February 05, 2008 - Report this comment
Maybe the guy in the OS went to jail for writing bad songs. The Seventies was a golden age of such.
Guy - February 05, 2008 - Report this comment
Norman Bates' mother was offended by sex but only if it was his. They should have lynched her as well. Nice write and there are far too many of these creeps out there to keep track of and rehab - ha - next to impossible. Lynch 'em all I say! Nice write on a retro brought up to speed. Give 'em all 555 years and be done with it.l
littleCupCakes - February 06, 2008 - Report this comment
Serious, but something funny about this. . . I enjoyed Tony Orlando & his pop songs, especially this one! The yellow ribbons were the sign of forgiveness then . . . and for healing. I've read tho' that perverts can't be fixed.

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