Ever since I was a maggot
I've been nothing but prey
From spiders and the sparrows
I hide from them all day
But I ain't seen nothing like him
On any garden wall
That crazy chameleon
Gives me no break at all

He is a cross-dresser
Wears a Peg Bundy wig
Eating all the larvae
Wear the farmers dig
He hunts by intuition,
Eats red ants off the wall.
That crazy chameleon
Will chase me until I fall

He's a cross-eyed lizard
He practices Tae-Bo
A cross-eyed lizard
He's got an ingrown toe

'Why do you think he chase me? You taste good!
'Pass Tobassco Sauce'

His anus has contractions
He poops out lady bugs
Tried to eat a cockroach
Those kitchen counter thugs
Some will say that he's gay
makes no difference at all
That crazy chameleon
Ate my mom off the wall

I thought I was
Going to be caught
But I just flew off
His efforts were for naught

Backyard is his table
He licks his own breast
Dance naked in your oatmeal
Old tires are his nest
He's gone crazy like a drunk cat
He's seven inches tall
That crazy chameleon
Eats his lunch off the wall