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Song Parodies -> "Gimli Was An Awesome Dwarf"
Original Song Title:
"Papa Was A Rollin' Stone"
(MP3)Original Performer:
The Temptations
Parody Song Title:
"Gimli Was An Awesome Dwarf"
Parody Written by:
Bob Gomez
The Lyrics
LOTR geeks and R&B freaks unite! Or something.
(bass & drum intro)
I was the shortest kid ever
I couldn't reach a door lever, no, no way--
And what was to blame
But my daddy's size--
The playground kids were always teasin'--
Takin' my lunch when the weather was freezin',
Mama, I'm dependin' on you
To tell me the truth.....
"Papa was an awesome dwarf--
He made a killing by hackin' up Orcs
And Uruk-Hai
He helped beat the Evil Lord.....
"Gimli was an awesome dwarf, my son, yeah,
He made a killing by axin' those Orcs
And Uruk-Hai
He helped beat the Evil Lord....."
(trumpet solo)
Hey, Mama,
Is it true what they say that
Papa never had a shave
In his life?
And Mama,
Some bad talk goin' around town
Sayin' that Papa had big bushy eyebrows
And he rode a trike!
And that ain't right!
Heard some talk about Papa doin' some gemstone tradin',
Talk about chasin' trolls and mineshaft gradin',
Diggin' in dirt and dealin' with some Ring of a Lord--
Mama shook a stubby finger in my face and said, son...
"Papa was an awesome dwarf--
He made a killing by hackin' up Orcs
And Uruk-Hai
He helped beat the Evil Lord.....
"Gimli was an awesome dwarf, my son, yeah
He made a killing by axin' those Orcs
And Uruk-Hai
He helped beat the Evil Lord....."
(really long trumpet solo)
Hey, Mama,
I heard Papa called himself a hacker like Blade--
Tell me, just how does a hacker dwarf earn his pay?
Folks say Papa had one favorite sport:
Dismembering dorks--
Hey, Mama,
Folks say Papa got old and started to shrinkin',
One-third of the height of an Abraham Lincoln--
Mama, I'm depending on you to tell me the truth--
Mama looked up with a beer in her hand and said, son...
"Gimli was no leprechaun!
He was a dwarf, not an elf or a gnome!
Down in the mines
Deep in Moria was his home.....
"Gimli was the son of Gloin, my son, yeah,
He wore a thimble of gold on his groin
Although pint-sized
Gimli had it goin' on....."
"Papa was an awesome dwarf--
He made a killing by hackin' up Orcs
And Uruk-Hai
He helped beat the Evil Lord.....
"Gimli was an awesome dwarf, my son, yeah
He made a killing by axin' those Orcs
And Uruk-Hai
He helped beat the Evil Lord....."
I was the shortest kid ever
I couldn't reach a door lever, no, no way--
And what was to blame
But my daddy's size--
The playground kids were always teasin'--
Takin' my lunch when the weather was freezin',
Mama, I'm dependin' on you
To tell me the truth.....
"Papa was an awesome dwarf--
He made a killing by hackin' up Orcs
And Uruk-Hai
He helped beat the Evil Lord.....
"Gimli was an awesome dwarf, my son, yeah,
He made a killing by axin' those Orcs
And Uruk-Hai
He helped beat the Evil Lord....."
(trumpet solo)
Hey, Mama,
Is it true what they say that
Papa never had a shave
In his life?
And Mama,
Some bad talk goin' around town
Sayin' that Papa had big bushy eyebrows
And he rode a trike!
And that ain't right!
Heard some talk about Papa doin' some gemstone tradin',
Talk about chasin' trolls and mineshaft gradin',
Diggin' in dirt and dealin' with some Ring of a Lord--
Mama shook a stubby finger in my face and said, son...
"Papa was an awesome dwarf--
He made a killing by hackin' up Orcs
And Uruk-Hai
He helped beat the Evil Lord.....
"Gimli was an awesome dwarf, my son, yeah
He made a killing by axin' those Orcs
And Uruk-Hai
He helped beat the Evil Lord....."
(really long trumpet solo)
Hey, Mama,
I heard Papa called himself a hacker like Blade--
Tell me, just how does a hacker dwarf earn his pay?
Folks say Papa had one favorite sport:
Dismembering dorks--
Hey, Mama,
Folks say Papa got old and started to shrinkin',
One-third of the height of an Abraham Lincoln--
Mama, I'm depending on you to tell me the truth--
Mama looked up with a beer in her hand and said, son...
"Gimli was no leprechaun!
He was a dwarf, not an elf or a gnome!
Down in the mines
Deep in Moria was his home.....
"Gimli was the son of Gloin, my son, yeah,
He wore a thimble of gold on his groin
Although pint-sized
Gimli had it goin' on....."
"Papa was an awesome dwarf--
He made a killing by hackin' up Orcs
And Uruk-Hai
He helped beat the Evil Lord.....
"Gimli was an awesome dwarf, my son, yeah
He made a killing by axin' those Orcs
And Uruk-Hai
He helped beat the Evil Lord....."
©Bob Gomez 2004
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Voting Breakdown
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| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 5 | 5 | 5 |
User Comments
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Great job, Bob! 5's
This was a 'wee' bit funny. Nice job Bob.
Now that's a tall tale. 5's
I'm really home Fri/ Sun, Bob. Send me a note if you're free.
HAHAHAHA....this is a masterpiece
Something about LOTR - there was a hero in it for everyone, and Gimli is a hero for all short people.
The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.
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