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Song Parodies -> "Used A Heavy Sling"

Original Song Title:

"You Are Everything"

Original Performer:

The Stylistics

Parody Song Title:

"Used A Heavy Sling"

Parody Written by:

Merry & Pippin

The Lyrics

Song #6 in M&P's occasional Biblical series!

A low-bitrate mp3 of the song can be found here.
"Well, they have one big giant," said good old King Saul
"His name is Goliath, that dude's nine feet tall!
From across the valley, he calls us bad names
We called upon Dave, with his five stones smooth, slingshot too..."

Used a heavy sling, and deadly sting ensued
Oh, Israelites did sing "The Philistine's unglued"
David did his thing – and stunningly debuted

Foes will soon regret their derision when we
At-tack their Big Cheese and gleely him slew
Now his face appears like a cyclops plus two
A-searing hole scored straight thru
Forehead is just askew, incongru...

With a single sling, some rocks, and lots of shrewd
He swivelled arm in swing - it saw “Big G” subdued
Oh, Saul may be our king, but David's a rad dude...

Used a heavy sling and without much ado
The gang all danced and singed at foe they overthrew
Oh, the moral of thing’s: don’t tick off the Hebrew

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   9

User Comments

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John Barry - October 03, 2007 - Report this comment
I'm slingin' some fives your way.
alvin - October 03, 2007 - Report this comment
david couldn't have slayed goliath any more than you slayed me....i adore your biblical stuff...'incongu'
Tommy Turtle - October 03, 2007 - Report this comment
Not many Stylistics parodies or fans on the site, but one here... you nailed this with a lot of syllable matching, too. You guys "rock". 555

oh, and Merry, the "Puff" parody that you inspired was posted on 28 Sept.
AFW - October 03, 2007 - Report this comment
This is the way bible stories should be told
mandamoo - October 03, 2007 - Report this comment
Good shot ! Loved the Big Cheese and Cyclops lines !!!
Below Average Dave ( - October 03, 2007 - Report this comment
Nice to see (well you know what I mean) you two again, and good way to come back, hope this isn't a one stop parody for you--you've been gone most the summer.
Peregrin - October 03, 2007 - Report this comment
Thank you everybody. Dave, Merry has been very unwell, I am hoping she is on the mend now. Maybe she will expand on this when she posts in here.
TJC - October 03, 2007 - Report this comment
Excellent stuff... I'm with AFW on this one!
TT - October 03, 2007 - Report this comment
Best wishes for a full and speedy recovery... Laughter is the best medicine, so hope you can find so merry a Doc to heal her.
Below Average Dave ( - October 03, 2007 - Report this comment
My thoughts and hopes go out to her.
Matthias - October 03, 2007 - Report this comment
Great way to make religion fun! I wouldn't mind going to church camp if you two were councilers
stuart mcarthur - October 04, 2007 - Report this comment
fantastic rhymes, M and P! each one brilliant - esp. loved "David did his thing – and stunningly debuted" - 555
Meriadoc - October 07, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks everyone, and thanks too for the well-wishes. Been having a spate of very bad sinus probs - no sleep etc. Guess it's time to visit the doctor - sigh...
Agrimorfee - August 31, 2012 - Report this comment
Sweet little Sunday school lesson here. I gotta read more of your Epistles. The Grammarian A-hole part of me is shocked at the past/present tense confusion in verse 2...but I have typographical errors all the time.
Peregrin - August 31, 2012 - Report this comment
Agri: Thanks! The tense made you tense? :) That would have been my work. I am the slacker of the two. Or so I get reminded! ;)
Porfle Popnecker - September 04, 2012 - Report this comment
As a fan of both the Stylistics and the Bible, I enjoyed this.
Abbott Skelding - September 06, 2012 - Report this comment
I never heard the OS before, but this was a really fun way of telling the story of "Big G" and "Dave" haha nice work
Blaydeman - September 11, 2012 - Report this comment
(ABC) Loved the old story of David and Goliath. I've never heard of the OS, so that was a new experience. Good stuff. You hobbitses know how to write a parody if biblical proportions.
Matthias - September 11, 2012 - Report this comment
All my time spent at Bible Camp as a Videographer paid off because I enjoyed this even more after dealing with that for an entire 2 months!
Meriadoc - September 13, 2012 - Report this comment
Thanks guys! Biblical parodies are some of our favorites - they are usually a lot of fun to do. :)

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