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Song Parodies -> "Wrestling Supermodels"

Original Song Title:

"Message In A Bottle"

Original Performer:

The Police

Parody Song Title:

"Wrestling Supermodels"

Parody Written by:

Stuart McArthur

The Lyrics

I’ve loved wrestling ever since I got a lifesize teddy as a 3yo. So when I got picked for the reality show “Supermodel Wrestling” I was over the moon, and Cindy Crawford, and Giselle Bundchen, and Kate Upton….
Also, if you manage to suspend disbelief enough to follow this story please also suspend these supermodels in time at peak superness. Ta
Youtube of Original Song here or at

Such a vast array
OF well-oiled beauteee-oh
Naomi Campbell waits
Next dude up is me-oh
Her scissor grips
hardly do seem fairrrr...
Rescue me before
she scissors me down there-oh

I get to wrestle this
pretty girl
I get to wrestle this
pretty girl
I hope my enemies see
I hope my penpal Leigh sees
I hope all menfolk see me
wrestling supermodels, yeah
wrestling supermodels, yeah

Charlize Theron
likes to go the grope
And Elle McPherson likes martial arts
I might wrestle both babes together
Try to part their holds
but not to hold their parrrrts

I get to wrestle these
pretty girls
I get to wrestle these
pretty girls
I hope my rugby squad sees
I hope my Uncle Rod sees
I hope my brothers watch me
wrestling supermodels, yeah
wrestling supermodels
wrestling supermodels, yeah
wrestling supermodels

Woke up this morning, heard a knock at the door
Miss Evangelista
wants to practise “claw”
Heidi Klum, I put in
a cloverleaf…
Endless waves of superbabes
keeping me from sleeeeep

I get to wrestle these
pretty girls
I get to wrestle these
pretty girls
I hope my facebook friends see
I hope my ex-girlfriends see
I hope they all condemn me
wrestling supermodels, yeah
wrestling supermodels
wrestling supermodels, whoa
wrestling supermodels

(cool guitar riffs as I turnbuckle splash onto Yasmeen Ghauri,
who tagteams Candice Swanepoel,
who applies a Tonga death grip,
then nails me with an illegal boston crabhold)

Candice played the villainess
Claudia looked unimpressed
Cindy Crawford did protest
(think she likes my hairy chest)
oops, Miranda’s lycra dress
split, revealing her left breast
Christy Turlington confessed
Carla Bruni got distressed
when her husband kissed a guest
now they’re wrestling two abreast
think the guest’s from Budapest
coz her accent’s manifest
Both get held in house arrest
then kicked out by due process
wonder what will happen next
enter Kanye, and North West
what a dumb name, I suggest
but it’s hers now, nonetheless
back to wrestling… I digress
Kate v Kim, the next contest
sleeper hold from Kim. Success!
Kate, distraught she flunked that test,
heads for home - she did her best
back to Scotland, through Loch Ness
Why won’t Sting just take a rest
from these endless SOS
messages, he’s quite obsessed
up to twenty-eight, I’d guess
wait, he’s fading out now (bless)
can I stop this crap now? yes

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   11

User Comments

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Peter Andersson - June 29, 2018 - Report this comment
I DEMAND a video version of this parody!
Rex - June 29, 2018 - Report this comment
I second Peter's demand! In Ultra HD!
Matthias - June 29, 2018 - Report this comment
Hilarious as usual my friend! Fantastic rhyming in the end there... I don’t know who did more rhyming here you with SOS or me with Lonely. I think we tied on that front. I’m putting in a 3rd vote for a video!
Agrimorfee - June 29, 2018 - Report this comment
So rhymey, so rhymey, so rhymey...You painted a pretty picture that will help me sleep tonight.
Peregrin - June 29, 2018 - Report this comment
Loved it. I liked the way the singer is divided between his pursuits and ensuring the everyone he knows or who has done him wrong gets to see him now. I must admit, I had to read the splash line a couple of times, I thought the parody was starting to take an unexpected turn...
Jeff Reuben - July 01, 2018 - Report this comment
Ditto on the video! A dream song, fantastically done
Meriadoc - July 01, 2018 - Report this comment
Sounds like you were tapping out there by round 30... ;D
TJC - July 02, 2018 - Report this comment
Awesome stuff, Stu, with a virtuoso final stanza!
Stuart McArthur - July 07, 2018 - Report this comment
Thanks Peter and Rex. I’ll get Tarantino onto it.

Thanks Matty. Wouldn’t mind casting myself in the movie. I’ll just cast away. And yes, it’s a free throw when you have all Sting’s typical fade outs. You can do anything with them

Glad to be of service Ag

Thanks Pippin. Yes the envy was even more enjoyable than the workouts. And I didn’t twig about the splash before you mentioned it. That’s a whole new bottle of messages

Thanks Jeff, very kind. Thanks Merry :)
Stuart McArthur - July 07, 2018 - Report this comment
Oops, thanks TJC. Your appreciation means a lot :)
Darius Whitehead - July 07, 2018 - Report this comment
It's Like Our Parody Called Meet This Superhero Where We Send Ol' Superman To You To Save The People's Towns And Such.
Stuart McArthur - July 08, 2018 - Report this comment
I think I follow, Darius. You’re saying it’s like sending a supermodel like Kate Moss to singlehandedly save Smallville.
paul robinson - July 15, 2018 - Report this comment
Nice pacing - clever & funny 5's
Dee Range - April 26, 2019 - Report this comment
Can you do this wrestling in JELLO next time? Pay Per View would make you a Gazillionaire many times over, and if you like Jello, cleanup is lickety-split! One thing for sure Stu. If you put notches on your bedpost, it probably looks like a toothpick right about now. And the parody? Also Notch-worthy. Another in a long line of Masterpieces. Makes me glad I dropped in to see what condition your condition was in. As it turns out, a perfect 5-5-5 condition, like all of them!
Dee Range - July 12, 2019 - Report this comment
Hey Stu, I was looking at comments of my 2004 Parody "The Battle Cry Of The Red Sox", the one with the flash cartoon. You replied to one commenter that you had a CD of it. Was that just Comedy, or do you really have one? I lost my last 10 copies in a move and was looking to upload it to YouTube. If you actually have a copy could you email me a copy? My email is BTW, I read this one of yours again, and LMFAO again. Timeless my friend!

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