It's one of those flights when you run all the lights
And you get to the 'port and you think to yourself 'I missed it'
It's one of those moods when you wish for 'ludes
And you think that you paid too much for your ticket
It's one of those pains where the toddler screams
And you say to yourself "Why must they be seated behind me?
And the flight film, to your horror now, is "Bambi"

Suddenly you're wishing in your mind
'Twas first class you'd paid for
(You wish you'd paid some more)
And you know that you'll have jag lag
Be walking in your sleep
When you get to Singapore
(You connect via Labrador)
And the fellow just beside you used
Expedia.com
And he saved big bucks galore
(And he tells you that times four)
Oh jet lag, I'm dreadin' you again
Like you know I've done before

Jet lag you know I do abhor (abhor)
Jet lag you know I do abhor (abhor)

And so it goes, there's no room for your toes
Got a crimp in the neck, 'cus your seatmate's a blimp & he crowds you
(crampin' your toes, crimp in the neck
you're gonna limp at the depot)
Now food's a pain, 'could be just fleabane
And you ask yourself are you gonna miss your connection?
(food's profane, think ya got ptomaine
in the airsick bag you're retchin')
You hear a voice say "Emergency stop
'Cus an engine's screwed and we're landin' in Kissimmee"
And as usual all your luggage now, is missin'

Suddenly your drink is in your lap
There's turbulence galore
(But wait cus' there'll be more)
And you know you'll have that jet lag
That fellow on your left
Has started now to snore
(And awake he was a bore)
I should issue a duel with my glove
I'd knock him down for sure
"Just stop snoring" I implore
(I should push him out the door)
Oh jet lag, I'm shiftin' in my seat
For my numb posterior

Now what? The stewardess just swore (she swore)
Oh hell, we're hijacked to Lahore (Lahore)
(fade)