I met them with a song on the Radio
And I thought they were fine but my friends thought they were holy
H-O-L-Y holy
They screamed their heads off, 100% chance
When they mentioned their names and a band they call Brothers, Jonas
J-O-N-As Jonas Jo-Jo-Jo-Jo-Jonas

Well I'm not the world's most discerning kind
But they're the worst band ever, so unrefined
Oh my Jonas… Jo-Jo-Jo-Jo-Jonas
Well I'm not dumb but I can't understand
Why they upstaged the Beatles as the greatest band
Oh my Jonas Jo-Jo-Jo-Jo-Jonas Jo-Jo-Jo-Jo-Jonas

My friends went insane and danced all night
Seeing them filled them with delight
They're every teenage girls fantasy
But not for realistic girls including me
Well I'm not the world's least passionate fan
In fact I my real friends and I want to ban all things that are Jonas
Jo-Jo-Jo-Jo-Jonas Jo-Jo-Jo-Jo-Jonas
Jo-Jo-Jo-Jo-Jonas Jo-Jo-Jo-Jo-Jonas

"Pushin Me Away"
Song Quality is poor
They get a low score
I got down on my knees
Because their music really traumatized me

Well I convey that I think they are gay
Cuz I saw their singer dance like Beyoncé, that Joe Jonas
Jo-Jo-Jo-Jo-Jonas
Girls love those boys but I think they are girls
They're the most pathetic boy-band in the world The Brothers Jonas
Jo-Jo-Jo-Jo-Jonas

Well I met my friend Mo in the record store
Bet they'd never ever kissed a woman before
My best friend smiled and took me by the hand
And said "Stupid boys, we're gonna get you banned."

Well I'm not the world's most sardonic "fan"
But when they got Razzied I thanked the good old man
Cuz they're Jonas
Jo-Jo-Jo-Jo-Jonas Jo-Jo-Jo-Jo-Jonas
Jo-Jo-Jo-Jo-Jonas Jo-Jo-Jo-Jo-Jonas

Etc.