Everybody's a danger and every door is ajar
And everybody is evil; it doesn't matter where you are
There are stares in every city
In every house is an enemy
And when they think up paranoid fantasies
Your word is taken for deceit.

Don't cross up Richard Nixon on Pennsylvania Boulevard
He feared one Daniel Ellsberg; that's why he tried to steal his chart
But they turned it into a circus
With the burglars' cover blown
So he had to beg a pardon
For simply wanting to bug their phone.

They can sense all the stares as they think up paranoid fantasies
Sometimes we sympathize, sometimes we called them freakin' weirdoes
Laughable jerks who mumbled and handed out blame
Some who succeeded, but all were whacked in the brain

Rudolph Guiliani used laws that were contrived
To hassle harmless homeless who gathered bottles to survive
Avoid looking for Bobby Fischer
'Cause he's liable to end your knight
Don't stand close to Charlton Heston
'Cause Uzi is his second wife

If you covered him with feces
Al Sharpton would still have guile
And if you burned G. Gordon Liddy
He would eat his hand and smile
But please don't head for queerest Howard Hughes
'Cause he wore plastic gloves
His fortune was made in oil and steel
Cause he feared urine, snot, spit and blood

They can sense all the stares as they make up paranoid fantasies
Sometimes we sympathize, sometimes we call them freakin' weirdoes
Laughable jerks who mumbled and handed out blame
Some who succeeded, but all were whacked in the brain

Everybody's a danger and every door is ajar
And everybody's defensive, it doesn't matter who they are
And those who are suspected
Be always on your guard
Suspicion means they want to nail ya'
Along Paranoid Boulevard

I wish my life was non-stop delusional spook house show
A fantasy world: imaginary villains and heroes
Because paranoid heroes never take any blame
And paranoid heroes always think we lie

They can sense all the stares as they make up paranoid fantasies
Sometimes we sympathize, sometimes we call them freakin' weirdoes
Laughable jerks who mumbled and handed out blame
Some who succeeded, but all were whacked in the brain

La la la la....

Oh, paranoid heroes always feel needless pain
Oh, paranoid heroes always think you lie.
I'd hate my life as a non-stop paranoid fantasy
A made-up world: imaginary villains and heroes
Because paranoid heroes suffer from screwed-up brains
And paranoid heroes always fear they'll die.