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Song Parodies -> "Vile Morsels (I Hate Liver)"

Original Song Title:

"Wild Horses"

Original Performer:

the Flying Burrito Brothers

Parody Song Title:

"Vile Morsels (I Hate Liver)"

Parody Written by:

Paul Robinson

The Lyrics

Yes, I know that Mick Jagger & Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones wrote this song...and that their version is the more well-known one...and it is a GREAT version, too. But this version by the Burritos, beyond being the only one I have of it, is absolutely superb. Graham Parsons lead vocals conveyed absolute utter pathos and Leon Russell's guest appearance on piano really topped off an exceptional rendition. BTW - The explanations vary, but as an FYI, the Burritos version was recorded BEFORE the Stones, although they property credit it to Jagger & that happened is somewhat open to question and interpretation...but it is what happened...
[instrumental intro]

Don't like liver
that stuff tastes like poo
It stinks and it's awful
Makes me want to puke

Tastes like leather
I'd rather eat Spam
I gag when I chew it
it smells like toe-jam

Vile morsels
stare at me from my plate
I will toss this
if Mom looks away

(Instrumental break]

Sat down for supper
then looked at my plate
gross liver; all dried-up
like a hair-clogged sink drain
"I will not eat this
I won't eat a bite
it smells like cat-litter"
I heard Mom's teeth grind

Smile; I forced quick
as Mom glared my way
"Child, I will force you
to eat what's on your plate"

[instrumental break]

[spoken to instrumental part]

{I hate this stuff}
{liver is just so gross}
{It's the most disgusting thing}
{that I've ever been asked to eat}

Why does Mom feed us
this crap I dislike
I won't eat liver
'cause it just is so vile
One taste; I'm chokin'
I spit to the side
"Son, eat your dinner
or you won't eat tonight"

"Don't force this"
I heard my Father say
"No, Hon, don't insist
it would be a mistake"

[instrumental break]

[spoken to instrumental part]

{Oh, I see a divorce in the cards, for sure}
{this is just the start of the problems they're gonna have}
{'Cause they can't agree on how to raise me}
{Let's see - I think I would rather live with my Dad}

Divorce, yes
didn't seem far away
child; remorseless
he ran out to play

~ ~ ~ [the end] ~ ~ ~

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   10

User Comments

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alvin rhodes - May 09, 2006 - Report this comment
i heartily agree...glands are for bodily functions, not for chewin' on
Paul Robinson - May 09, 2006 - Report this comment
thanks, alvin ~ ~ ~
Rick C - May 09, 2006 - Report this comment
I don't know the statistics on how many couples divorce over whether or not they can get their kids to eat liver but, I'm sure they must be astronomical! :-) 555
Adagio - May 09, 2006 - Report this comment
Toe jam? lol You've been watching "Cheers" too much. 5's
Paul Robinson - May 09, 2006 - Report this comment
Well, sure Rick...but really, who needs statistics? I mean what sort of sadistic person would continually serve LIVER as a meal to be consumed? It would be one thing if the 'end-consumer' had at some time voiced an appreication of or desire to be served liver...that would make them truly insane, but they have that to maliciously and intentionally inflict liver on innocent children...well...I reel at the mere thought...NOW...perhaps tomorrow, but perhaps the day after that (not decided yet) I will be posting another "child/parent" situation...stay tuned...
Stephen Harrington - May 09, 2006 - Report this comment
555, especially loved the shift in direction you did at the end.
Paul Robinson - May 09, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks, Stephen...In my twisted mind it seemed to be flowing more or less in that type of direction ~ ~ ~
Rick C - May 09, 2006 - Report this comment
And, Paul, tomorrow I will be posting a parody which deals with the act which precedes the child/parent situation. Tune in tomorrow.
Rex - May 09, 2006 - Report this comment
Who would have thought that we'd see two liver-hating parodies on the same day? This is good (unlike liver).
Paul Robinson - May 09, 2006 - Report this comment
Rick C - aha! One good "Self-promotion" deserves another? lol...I will be watching with baited eyes...Rex, I'll have to look and see which one...I hadn't picked up on that when I checked in earlier...thanks...
Paul Robinson - May 09, 2006 - Report this comment
Pat - your comment came up after I had already posted my reply to Rick C...then I gotted "twitted" when I tried to post this reply: HAR! Haven't watched "Cheers" or anything else in some time now...I guess they had a reference to "Toe Jam" recently? No, it sprung unprompted from my warped mind...when I thought about eating liver (which I sort of recall you saying you ~ ~ ~ Thanks ~
PMS - May 09, 2006 - Report this comment
LOL Loved the song. I actually like liver when it's properly cooked, but I know what it's like to have to eat something that makes me gag. For me that would be lima beans and sweet potatos. I have learned to like most of the veggies I was leery of as a kid, but not those two.
Adagio - May 09, 2006 - Report this comment
Paul, it's Carla on "Cheers" keeps saying that all men are toe jam. lol Oh, it's properly cooked (not fried into a piece of charcoal) chicken liver that I like...I guess that qualifies.
Stuart McArthur - May 09, 2006 - Report this comment
If I told my mother her meal looked "like a hair-clogged sink drain" it would not have gone down well - about as well as water down a hair-clogged sink drain, I guess - but there's 55 calories in every 5 grams of liver Paul
Paul Robinson - May 09, 2006 - Report this comment
PMS - I got over MOST of my "Won't Eat" stuff around 10 or maybe 12, but liver? Uh-uh...not then and not now and not ever...Pat, Carla? I shoulda - Yeah, that would be a pretty cheeky thing to say to your Mom...and speaking of, that's in TOMORROW piece...Thanks!
carol - May 09, 2006 - Report this comment
keep your nasty liver precious! 555
Paul Robinson - May 10, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks, carol.
Larry Hensley - May 10, 2006 - Report this comment
It's true, liver is yucky. 5s
Paul Robinson - May 10, 2006 - Report this comment
Yes, it is, Mr. H - Thanks ~ ~ ~

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