How'd you like to spritz
In my beautiful spittoon
Hear those big chaw hits, (ping!)
In my beautiful spittoon
We could have a lotta' fun,
With Mail Pouch, you and I
As our wads fly
Hear their reply, (ping!)

Up,up and away
In my beautiful,
My beautiful spittoon

Our home's a nicer place
With a beautiful spittoon
Wife wears a smiley face,
Since l got my new spittoon
No more messy stains
On floor, remains..gross to the eye
Gone, that pig sty,
Hear chaws whiz by..(ping)

Up, up and away
In my beautiful
My beautiful spittoon

It's shiny brass,
And a special gift for me
Bright as the sun,
With wide flare to guide us..
Now, each day more..
I find myself, loving it
And class is not denied us
Sparkling here beside us..

Chaw'n friends all share
In my beautiful spittoon
Envious, their wives stare
At my beautiful spittoon
Good friend, Zeke's the man
From twenty feet, he smacks bullseye
He has the eye,
True his shots fly

Up, up and away
In my beautiful
My beautiful spittoon

Up, up and away
Up, up and away
Up, up and away
Up, up and away
Up, up and away

(Ping!)