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Song Parodies -> "Dope Sheared His Weiner"

Original Song Title:

"Don't Fear The Reaper"

Original Performer:

The Blue Oyster Cult

Parody Song Title:

"Dope Sheared His Weiner"

Parody Written by:

Paul Robinson

The Lyrics

Careful with those garden tools, my friends....don't let this happen to you...
[instrumental intro]

Pruning plants in nude
Safety latch undone

Feeble-jerk sheared his weiner
You should have heard his loud cries of pain
{Frantic; looked for a jar}
Can they save it?
{"Please, save my weiner"}
Held it in his hand
{"Save my poor weiner"}
Looked down sadly at fly
{"Sure miss my weiner"}
"Oh, please save my gland"

"Can it be sewed on?
Hope they can sew on"

[instrumental break]

Man, that sure was dumb
He sat down and sobbed

Sat there, moaned, and did lament
"Can they somehow sew back on my pee-pee?"
{he did moan and then lament}
Asked, "When it mended would there be pain?"
{he moaned and then did again lament}
"And at the end, well, how will I pay?"
{and everyone there just looked away}
And then he started howling again in pain
{"Please, save my weinie"}
"Can you save it?"
{"Please save my weiner"}
Cradled in his hand
{"Please, here's my weiner"}
Then looked down at his fly
{"I miss my weiner"}
Held pr*ck in his hand

"Too small, throw it back"
Said Nurse - kidding 'round

[instrumental break]

Doctor said, "How dumb"
Looked down, then he frowned

Pruning shears, had unsnapped them
Penis was sheared
can't glue it back on
He roared in great pain
then pulled back his shears
his eyes grew wide
and he shook with fear
his prick looked gruesome
with blood was smeared
{He said. "Dammit, Oy Vey"}
"Can they save it?"
{Shaking; in great fear}
Manhood held in hand
{Then looked down at his fly}
"Man, that was dumb", he numbly said
{Then stumbled down to his car}
Holding it in his hands
{Should've put it in a jar}
"Can they save it?"
{"My sheared-off weiner"}

[instrumentals with "Ow's" to 'twangy' guitar notes out to end Fade]

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   8

User Comments

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Lionel Mertens - July 06, 2006 - Report this comment
You make me so gwad I no use dwugs. 5's
Paul Robinson - July 06, 2006 - Report this comment
But Lionel, even the sober can do dopey things - Thanks ~ ~ ~
Johnny D - July 06, 2006 - Report this comment
Paul Robinson - July 06, 2006 - Report this comment
Yes, COW-BELL...Cow-a-bunga, JD!
alvin rhodes - July 06, 2006 - Report this comment
shear genius
Paul Robinson - July 06, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks, alvin ~ ~ ~
2Eagle - July 06, 2006 - Report this comment
Good one, although I usually don't care for songs about private parts or sex.
Paul Robinson - July 06, 2006 - Report this comment
2Eagle - Uh...what's left to write about? j/k Thanks! ~ ~ ~
carol - July 06, 2006 - Report this comment
snip, snip, ooops! 5's
Stuart McArthur - July 06, 2006 - Report this comment
*finishes parody - uncrosses legs*

hope the dope recovers, Paul - there's still a whole field of carrots out there waiting for him to yank and pull out - 555
MrMacphisto - July 06, 2006 - Report this comment
LMAO!!! that was great....
Paul Robinson - July 07, 2006 - Report this comment
carol, StuMc & Macphisto - Thanks ! Yes, all he MEANT to do was take just a LITTLE off the top....Glad you all liked it ~ ~ ~

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