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Song Parodies -> "Took My Pawn"

Original Song Title:

"Delta Dawn"

Original Performer:

Tanya Tucker

Parody Song Title:

"Took My Pawn"

Parody Written by:

Tim Mayfield

The Lyrics

Have you ever played chess with someone you are sure is cheating, but can't put your finger on how? This is NOT one of those situations.
Took my pawn
What the Hoyle's going on?
Could it be you're cheating more than I supposed?
And did your horsey play
A little power move my queen's way?
I guess he's sneaking steroids on the sly

Never knew that knights could go and join the Navy
Castle walls can pour down boiling gravy
And both the bishops must concoct the master plan
Rooks can't cross any line that's drawn in the sand

Super-pepped-up king was caused by strong caffeine
Sacrifice lowly pawn gotta save the queen
Knights can not be seen by you when they are dazed
Rules of chess are keeping me amazed

Castle's gone
Handgrenade tossed on the lawn
Flaming arrows caught the poor queen's hair on fire
My knight's thrown by a snake
There were assassins in the cake
The bishops being beaten by the choir

Something's wrong
No mere pawn can be that strong
Dropped a mountain on my rook from a high place
Some monster from the lake
Burned my bishop tied at the stake
Then ate him without even saying grace

Word's your bond
You don't know who hid that bomb
Could it be I'm getting close to someone dear?
Cause when I made my move
Took a piece you hate to lose
I left your Royal fam'ly in the clear

Demon spawn
Have no power after dawn
So you'd better think of something else right quick
Cause if you plan to slay
The Queen's courtiers that way
You might find sending spies might
Do the trick

Gatlin gun
That is how the game was won
Didn't see it hidden high up in the spire . . .

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 18

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   18

User Comments

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Dee Range - September 07, 2006 - Report this comment
Fantastic lines everywhere, Tim. For chess fans, especially, this is just plain superb.5's+
TJC - September 07, 2006 - Report this comment
Great concept and execution! Heh heh! No one feels rooked with this one...I'm in total agreement with Dee here!
AFW - September 07, 2006 - Report this comment
This is chess great...We've all been spoofmated
John Barry - September 07, 2006 - Report this comment
Nice moves.
Kristof Robertson - September 07, 2006 - Report this comment
Totally original idea fabulously executed. 555
Meriadoc - September 07, 2006 - Report this comment
Lots of cute images here...
The Charnstar - October 03, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) That was just AWESOME! LOL! And the title "Took My Pawn" made me think for a second or two. Great work, 5-5-5
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - October 07, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM - Now I've checked mate, and this surely deserves more than an en passant vote. :-)
tomario - October 09, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM-well it's different pawn cocktail anyone ? nice parody 555
Agrimorfee - October 10, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Neat stuff, with neat hidden puns...made me think of Harry Potter's chess battle in the first novel...or Kurt Vonnegut's short story about a deadly chess match. 555
Rick C - October 18, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Excellent Tim! I've never thought of using a gatlin gun to win a chess game but, it would sure save some time :-) 555
Stuart McArthur - October 20, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I agree with Dee about the fantastic lines (and rhymes) everywhere Tim, and kudos for the originality, firstly to do a chess parody, and then to take the leap of making it real - like one of those fantasies in Disney movies that suddenly come to life - 555
Matthias - October 21, 2006 - Report this comment
Jack Wilson - October 22, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) That was great! 555!
Red Ant - October 23, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Wow, Tim, that was amazing. I'm far too unknowledgeable about the nuances of chess to pick up all of the word-play, though "Hoyle's" for "Hell's" and "horsey play" stuck out. There has to be a "White Rabbit" reference in here somewhere, though it eludes me. I also echo Stu's comment. 555.
Michael McVey - October 25, 2006 - Report this comment
Truly a checkmate.--MM
Phil Alexander - October 27, 2006 - Report this comment
Brilliant, Tim - incidentally, ever played "Battle Chess"?
Tim Mayfield - October 28, 2006 - Report this comment
Phil, Yes, and Star Wars chess, and a few other variations...
Jeff Reuben - October 28, 2006 - Report this comment
Sotm-I'm sure I missed some references as well, but I know enough about Chess (and Battle Chess) to appreciate this. Nice job!
Red Ant - October 29, 2006 - Report this comment
I found a video clip you might enjoy, Tim. Not Chess, but...Checkers:

wannabemustangjockey - October 29, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM - The second half is priceless.
bobpiecheese - October 30, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I also know a bit about chess. Enough to thoroughly enjoy this parody. Although, it seems to me like a modern version of "Wizard's Chess" from the first Harry Potter movie.
Kristof Robertson - October 31, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above. Top notch stuff

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