Sometimes it's hard to cook a gammon
All that hard work for just one ham!
First there's the boil times, and then the roast times,
Movin' it to the oven from the pan.
But 'cuz they lurve it - you have to cook it
Even tho' it's easier to roast a lamb
I wanted chicken.. stuck in this kitchen
Cookin' everyone this bloody ham

Stand by the pan
Then whinge that you don't want to
Cook gammon now OR ever!
It tastes like bloody leather!
Stand by the pan
And moan so they can hear you
Give them all the earache that you can..
Hate cooking hay-ay-am

Stand by the pan
And make a right ol' racket
Keep moaning loudly as you caaaaaaaayn
Hate cooking haaay-aaay-aaam