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Song Parodies -> "If David Byrne Wrote"

Original Song Title:

"Life During Wartime"

Original Performer:

Talking Heads

Parody Song Title:

"If David Byrne Wrote"

Parody Written by:

Hu's On First

The Lyrics

OK, it's my turn....
Heard of a lake that they call Gitchee Gumee
And she don't give up her dead
The Edmund Fitzgerald: a ship that sank there
'Twas in that book that I read

The ship it came up from old Wisconsin
Bigger than most freighters are
Packed up with ore, sailin' off to Cleveland
But they didn't get far

This ain't no sailboat, this ain't no kayak
This ain't canoein' around
No time for picnics, this ship is sinkin'
We ain't got time for that now

Here come that wave washing o'er the railing
It was the November witch
The rain and wind was a pourin' and howlin'
Oh man, these gales are a bitch

When suppertime came, old cook was sayin'
"No food for you!" loud and clear
Ain't got no hardtack, ain't got no salt pork
We don't have grog, rum or beer (Arr!)

This ain't no sailboat, this ain't no kayak
This ain't canoein' around
Get on the radio, send the mayday signal
That's all we've got time for now

Heard about God's love? Oh where does it go?
When waves turn minutes to hours
You oughtta know that when we are all doomed
It's hard to not feel dour

The Great Lakes churn, like a sea of butter
More nasty weather ahead
And Axl knows, when November Rain comes
Somebody's gonna fall dead

Why stay in college? I wish I'd done so!
Instead of join this ship's crew
Can't write no letters, can't send no postcard
'Cause soon I'll drown in this goo

This ain't no sailboat, this ain't no kayak
This ain't canoein' around
I'd love to kiss you, I'd love to hold you
Got no more time for that now

Musty old hall, in the Sailor's Cathedral
You'll pray to save all our souls
Oh, I'm treading water, I think of my wife
But this lake is freezing and cold

It doesn't matter what I'm wearing
This is my watery grave
You know my hairstyle, it doesn't matter
'Cause now my life can't be saved

It makes me shiver, I feel so tender
Life flashing 'fore mine own eyes
I'm so exhausted, I've just got minutes
Until my permanent sleep

We had instructions, followed directions
But still the ship met its doom
Just goes to show, don't trust Gitchee Gumee
Or else it will be your tomb

We lost the notebooks, what good are notebooks?
They're no flotation device
My skin is so cold, it feels like burning
The burning feels like dry ice

Oh I stayed healthy, physical fitness
I didn't catch no disease
Oh I was careful, did not take chances
But now I'm toast anyway

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

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Michael Pacholek - September 01, 2011 - Report this comment
You might ask yourself, "How can anyone not give this parody a five?"
Patrick - September 01, 2011 - Report this comment
I'm only vaguely remembering the original song, but your lyrics capture the feeling of chaos that must have prevailed among the crew when they realized the ship was sinking. A very fine contribution to Fitzmania month.

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