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Song Parodies -> "Squalling Ditz"

Original Song Title:

"Ballroom Blitz"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Sweet

Parody Song Title:

"Squalling Ditz"

Parody Written by:

L. D. Obblo

The Lyrics

This was written after the last presidential election, but for some reason I never got around to submitting it. Given the craziness surrounding many of the current midterm races, I figured this might be a great time to finally post it up.
Are you ready, John? Uh-huh.
Huma? Yeah.
Bill? Okay.
Alright felons, let’s go!

I can’t believe that Trump won.
None of this makes any sense to me.
I thought our lie was brilliant:
It’s “racist” to make voters show ID.

We had Donna Brazille, lib’ral media shill,
colluding to make sure we won.
And our fourth estate pals were the first to espouse
every criminal act that was done.

Oh yeah, then it got frightening
‘cuz the tension kept heightening.
That’s when Hil started boozing,
throwing things and accusing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

And she said to the flacks in the media pack
“Better find a way to change this script.
It’s only fair to warn ya I’ll probably suborn ya.
I’m synonymous with brinkmanship.”
Squalling ditz, squalling ditz, squalling ditz, squalling ditz

“We’ve got to find a scapegoat -
can’t admit our message isn’t true.
Let’s just blame it all on Russia
and say that Putin tried to stage a coup.”

But the Wikileaks hacks exposed some dark facts
that the Democrats wanted to hide.
Then the leaks kept a’comin’ and folks started wonderin’
just how often had Hillary lied.

Oh yeah, things got frenetic
So we told her medic
“Keep that Epi-Pen streaming -
she isn’t done scheming.”
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah

And the man by the van said “I can’t help her stand -
Stumbelina’s gonna do the splits.”
Then we heard another order: “Don’t let anyone record her
or we might as well call it quits.”
Squalling ditz, squalling ditz, squalling ditz, squalling ditz

Oh yeah, it got exciting
when the noose started tight’ning.
There’s just no way of soothing
Hillary when she’s losing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah

So she didn’t win jack ‘cuz the votes that she lacked
sent the message that she’d been dismissed.
She can beg and she can barter, she can even play the martyr
but her aspirations have been blitzed.
Squalling ditz, squalling ditz, squalling ditz, squalling ditz

It’s it’s a squalling ditz
It’s it’s a squalling ditz
It’s it’s a squalling ditz
Yeah, she’s a squalling ditz.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

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 5   5
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