Take a look at my tunic
It's the only one I got
Not much of a tunic
The only one my Grandma bought

Ride pirate ship, weapons equipped
Gonna get my sister back
Shot out cannon, then meet Ganon
I'm thrown to an island so new - hell, there's not a lot I could do

Rescued by a talking lion-boat
No, I don't hallucinate
Tells me to buy a new sail, now
Babbling about my fate

Wind temple and deku temple
Monotony that never ends
Got all three jewels on their stone stools
I'm hoping my destiny's through, 'cause I'm hatin' this talking canoe

But, nah nah nah nah, not even close, no, you're never do-ee-one
Nah nah nah nah, not even close, no, you're never do-ee-one
Thought you won? You're not do-ee-oh-ee-one...

Freed them girls from Ganon
With the female pirate (hot!)
Turns out that she is Zelda
Boy, this is a crappy plot

Hear a jingle? Well thatt's Tingle
I'm throttling his life away
Got all eight shards, sendin' regards
To the whole Nintendo crew, 'cause I figure my victory's due

But, nah nah nah nah, not even close, no, you're never do-ee-one
Nah nah nah nah, not even close, no, you're never do-ee-one
Deflectin' - her arrow - then choppin' - his marrow
No tower - collapsin' - this gameplay - is lapsin'
Don't try to defend - the horrible end...