I say I’m hip, I’m hop
I’m hippin’, I’m hoppin’ to the hip-hip-hop
I don’t stop to the rockin’ of the bang-bang-boogie
Say up jump the boogie to the rhythm of the boogity beat.

Now what you hear is not a test,
This is my greatest feat!
I made it to 100 songs,
I think it’s wicked sweet!
Yo, my name’s Dylan B.,
And I’m not like all the rest
On the left, or the right! If you see my songs,
You might think I’m the best!
‘Cause I got a buncha bang-bang,
The boogie to the boogie
Say up jump the boogie of the bang-bang boogie
Let’s rock & not stop,
To the rhythm that’ll make your body rock!
Well you know what’s my name,
And I know how to cheat at Pong,
But to tell the truth, I’m not done yet,
Come on, let’s hear the song!

Check it out, I’m the B-A-R-A-N-S-K-I,
And I’m super F-L-Y!
Ya see I go by the code of the General of Spoof,
And these reasons will tell you why.
See, I’m one of a kind, and no one you’ll find
Is exactly like me!
Ya see I got more rhymes than the Masta Gee,
And I use ‘em exceptionally!
I don’t care ‘bout trends or phony friends,
‘Cause those are pretty wack!
I’d rather have a Nintendo
And an old-school Cadillac!
I finished school ‘cause I ain’t no fool,
I’m studyin’ at college now.
If I study hard enough & don’t play rough,
I’ll get more fame than Mao.
Hear me talkin’ bout textbooks, school supplies,
More homework, when will the schooling ever end?
However, I feel lucky ‘cause my life’s not sucky
And I got me a few good friends.
Everybody go Alpha, Bravo, who we gonna meet today?
(Say what?)
‘Cause I’m-a get a 50 & some ammo, & drive off in a Jeep CJ!
Everybody go Alpha, Bravo, Charlie Foxtrot.
You see, just keep on stayin’ tough
If life ain’t so hot.
I’m Dylan B, and I’m swell, yo!
I tell you what I’m gonna do!

Yeah, it’s on-n-n-on-n-on-on-n-on,
The spoofs won’t stop until the break of dawn!
I say a D-Y-L, a A & N, a Bar & then a Ski,
I say I go by the uncopyable name of Dylan Baranski.
Well, my name is known all over my town,
I’m even more famous than Bobby Brown!
I’m goin’ down in history
As the weirdest rapper that ever could be!
If they’re askin’ me “Why”, I ask ‘em “Why not?”
I never forget why my skills are hot.
I start movin’ my fingers & typin’ some words,
I write so many spoofs, some must think I’m a nerd!
I say damn, I don’t care what they think!
I say damn, their boat’s gonna sink!
In my town or on the river Rhine,
I tell the haters “Read between the lines!”
I don’t care what they’re thinking ‘cause I’m doin’ fine!
At the rate they’re getting served, they’ll wine & dine.
Now, I’m different from the rest of the gang,
But I write parodies just the same.
I got some lyrics & a book full of rhymes,
I can write about oranges, lemons & limes!
Goin’ on-n-n-on-n-on-on-n-on,
The spoofs won’t stop until the break of dawn!
Goin’ on-n-n-on-n-on-on-n-on,
Like it’s hot boppity bop da bop da bop jiggy jiggy!
Pop da pop pop why should we stop?
I guess by now, I’ll be eatin’ lunch,
Because I am the weirdo of the bunch
But that’s OK, I don’t really mind
‘Cause I take my own route & just move to my own grind!
Goin’ on-n-n-on-n-on-on-n-on,
The spoofs won’t stop until the break of dawn!
Goin’ on-n-n-on-n-on-on-n-on,
Hooah y’all! Get in the groove!
I’m gonna spoof ‘em here, I’m gonna spoof ‘em there,
I’ll even parody the atmosphere!
Cause I’m one of a kind & no one you’ll find
Will sometimes slip in a nonsense rhyme!
I say 1, 2, 3, 4, Don’t slip on an apple core!
Come alive, y’all, help me find my sock,
Otherwise, I will get writer’s block!
I say 1, 2, 3, 4, Don’t think about swinging without shouting “Fore!”

‘Cause that ain’t hip, nor hop
Not hippin’, nor hoppin’ to the hip-hip-hop
It will stop to the rockin’ of the bang-bang-boogie
Say up jump the boogie to the rhythm of the boogity beat.
Skiddalebebop, I rock, like Scooby Doo
And guess what AmIRight, I love you!
‘Cause you rock & roll, & you got soul,
You even got a few references to Bob Dole!
I like to eat beef of the kind that’s roast,
I like to eat fried chicken from coast to coast!
Rock it out, be-bah-bubba,
Be-bah-bubba to the boogie-da-bang-bang-da-boogie,
To the funk beat, for music’s sake!
Come on everybody, now here comes the break!


[The break, yo]


I say I’m hip, I’m hop
I’m hippin’, I’m hoppin’ to the hip-hip-hop I don’t stop!
Rock it out, Be-bah-bubba to the boogie-da-bang-bang-da-boogie,
The boogie to the boogity beat!

You know, I can’t wait ‘till the end of the week
When college gets out, I can go right back to my home
And attempt to write a song ‘bout loam!
Some people will think that I’m a freak,
But I’d like to see them come up with better poems,
And if they lose the bet, then the tribe will speak,
And they’ll win nothing, not even an invisible comb,
I guess that’s the end of their winning streak!
Sometimes, I like to prank,
And sometimes, I might be drawin’ a blank,
But I know what’s right from wrong,
Like the rhythm of the boogie-da-bang-bang-da-bong.

Well I’m ink da sink, don’t you blink,
Or else you’ll miss my rhymin’ bliss!
‘Cause I’m the grandmaster of the Ocean State,
Doin’ his best to be wicked great!
When I go outside, back to the front,
I do my best while I’m on the hunt,
And if those sucker roadblocks try to block my way,
I just figure out something so I can save my own day!
Up from sun to moon, and from day to night,
I spend my time employin’ my rights!
Because they say practice always makes perfect,
I make sure that my skills don’t fall into neglect!
I always practice them so I get ‘em down!
That way, I can be the best around!

Well, I was at my home playing video games,
And something happened that was extremely lame!
I was doin’ great & it was quite a thrill,
When in the blink of an eye, I just got killed!
I had been doing so excellent,
But now the game was over, so I had to start again!
I thought maybe I was just complacent,
I tried again, I couldn’t beat that segment.
I kept on tryin’, but I couldn’t win,
And my patience was getting’ pretty thin.
This particular game I knew through and through,
And my foes were doing things they shouldn’t do.
By now, I was at the end of my rope,
And I knew I had just one last hope.
On my PC, I opened the internet,
‘Cause it helped me before, so it would be my best bet.
When I was online, I looked for a guide
To help me out & turn the tide.
When I found one, I turned my game console on
And when I tried again, it looked like I was gone,
But then out of nowhere, like a sudden rain,
I finished the level & I beat the game!
I just did it! I just did it! I just did it-did it-did it!
I am here, I am there, I’m Dylan B & I’m everywhere!
I threw my hands up in the air
And danced so stupid like I didn’t care!
Let’s do it! Don’t stop, y’all!
Tick tock, y’all! I don’t stop!
I say Alpha, Bravo, who we gonna meet today?
(Say what?)
‘Cause I’m-a get a 50 & some ammo, & drive off in a Jeep CJ!
Everybody go Alpha, Bravo, Charlie Foxtrot.
You see, just keep on stayin’ tough
If life ain’t so hot.
I say, run, jump, go save the day
And don’t let nothin’ get in your way!
Hey, you just stay tough & stay alive,
If some sucker’s givin’ you problems, then don’t take their jive!

It was 1 o’clock on a Friday,
School was over, so I got up and drove away.
The radio was playin’ rock & roll,
I was happy ‘cause I fulfilled the day’s goals
And the road behind me was wicked clean,
I was havin’ a good time & diggin’ the scene.
When outta nowhere, like the Taliban,
My mirror caught sight of a white sedan.
It was comin’ up fast, in a moment I’d find
That sedan drivin’ close to my behind.
So I said to myself, “Where the heck is the fire”?
If he goes faster, he’ll blow a tire!
But I kept on going & didn’t lose my cool,
I didn’t wanna crash ‘cause of some fool.
I thought this guy was some sort of spy,
For him to go so fast, I saw no good reason why.
I turned to a different street,
But this sucker just kept on following me.
I wondered what this sucker’s problem could be
Or if there was a clock he had to beat.
This guy was getting right on my nerves,
But I figured later that he’d get served.
I didn’t care what that other guy thought,
I was bein’ safe so I wouldn’t get caught.
Then a few miles down, like the break of dawn,
That schmuck made a left & he was finally gone,
And the rest of the way was an easy drive home
I’m still alive, so I can write about loam!
As for the guy who was tailing me,
He may have been pulled over by the PD.
When they asked for his license,
He may have had a bunch of offenses,
Which would cause him to be under arrest
‘Cause he made choices that weren’t the best.
In jail, he’s gettin’ beat by some random freak
And eatin’ food that tastes like feet.
In jail, he’s gettin’ beat, gettin’ beat-a-beat
Just-a gettin’ beat beat by some random freak.
He just keeps on getting’ beat & it just goes on,
On-n-on into the break of dawn.
Remember folks, put your doubts on the shelf
And always think for yourself.
If you don’t just do what people say,
Your life will be much better that way!

Like a comedy that isn’t funny,
Like a honeybee that makes no honey,
Like a supercar that isn’t fast,
Like a diamond that will never last,
Like a cell phone that never rang,
Like the boogie to the boogie without the boogie bang,
Like lemonade that don’t taste good,
Like a chainsaw that can’t cut wood,
Like Superman that isn’t strong,
Is just like a life without a song, no song.
To the funk beat, let’s do the freak,
Everybody just rock and dance to the beat!

Have you ever sat down to watch the TV news
And the news just ain’t no good?
I mean the stock market fell again, there’s hurricanes
And there’s violence in the ‘hood.
They just try to tell us all like we want to hear,
Like it’s all pitiful.
Well, you know what I say? Just ignore all those programs
It ain’t all bad, uh-uh, that’s bull.
Grab your remote control & just change the channel,
There are better TV shows out there!
If all else fails, just turn off your TV
If there’s nothing good that’s on the air.
If the day is just boring, don’t go eat your flooring,
Find something useful to kill the time!
You can practice juggling, teach yourself a brand-new language,
Or come up with some brand-new rhymes!
Oh, so I say that’s it, just find somethin’ to do,
Don’t care about what the news says
But if there is a real emergency,
Then follow them, or else you’ll be dead.
That’s pretty much all the news is good for,
Just that and not much else.
If those people start reportin’ more good news,
Be-bah-bubbah, don’t know what rhymes.
I say I’m hip, I’m hop
I’m hippin’, I’m hoppin’ to the hip-hip-hop
I don’t stop to the rockin’ of the bang-bang-boogie
Say up jump the boogie to the rhythm of the boogity beat.
I say hey, can you rock,
Can you rock to the rhythm that just don’t stop?
Can you make some wicked dynamite?
Can you amaze the people at AmIRight?

I go to that site & submit my rhymes,
Because I got the skills & I got the time
And if you ask me if I need a dime,
I say no, I just need the time!
And from the time I was seventeen years old,
I saw a good chance & I took hold.
It was wicked fun to contribute,
And it’s still fun, I’ll never scoot.
Though occasionally, I’ll take a break,
But news of my departure is fake.
See, there’s a time to rhyme & a time to write,
A time to work & a time to sight,
A time to go & just take a break,
A time to cook some Shake ‘n’ Bake,
But whatever I do, or what my plight,
I’m never gonna give up on this site!
There’s from sixty-six to a thousand songs
I haven’t even parodied all along.
So when you think that I’ve retired or I’ve been killed,
Unless it’s real, I’m just sharpening my skills.
I’ve got inventiveness & a little green book
That’s filled with rhymes & I know you wanna look,
But you can buy one from your local bookstore
And become a rhymin’ commodore!
‘Cause if you steal my rhymin’ book,
The cops are gonna get you, you filthy crook!
Now I’ll write forevermore, all throughout my life,
I’ll keep on writin’ if my name is Fife!
Tick tock, y’all! A beep beep, y’all!
Let’s rock, y’all! Don’t stop, y’all!
I say Alpha, Bravo, who we gonna meet today?
(Say what?)
‘Cause I’m-a get a 50 & some ammo, & drive off in a Jeep CJ!
Everybody go Alpha, Bravo, Charlie Foxtrot.
You see, just keep on stayin’ tough
If life ain’t so hot.
Like that, y’all! To the beat, y’all!
Beep beep, y’all! We don’t stop!
I’m Dylan B, and I’m swell, yo!
I tell you what I’m gonna do!

Well, like Andrew Jackson on the late show,
Like Betty Crocker in stereo,
Well, like the Ramones singin’ “Holy Ghost”,
The sounds you ain’t heard aren’t played the most!
It’s like that dude Burger Man
Who is the dude with the power food
We rock & we won’t stop!
Come on, y’all! We’re here to give it what we got
To the beat that’ll wake us up!
Now come alive, y’all, tell me what’s up!
A-like-a Solid Snake without apple pie,
Like a Ford Pinto that never dies
Like Robert Burns on the mike,
Like tryin’ to eat while on your bike,
Like makin’ up stuff that just doesn’t make sense,
Dance to the beat & save your cents!

Like comin’ alive to sir Dylan B,
The weirdo who rocks egregiously!
At the age of one, I had some fun.
At the age of two, I was startin’ to chew.
At the age of three, I had found the key
Then I took a break & I had some tea.
At the age of four, to myself I swore
That later on I would get a high score.
At the age of five, I was feelin’ alive,
With sir Dylan B, you don’t get no jive!
At the age of six, I was getting’ my kicks
Makin’ up new rhymes & candle wicks.
At the age of seven, I was not eleven
Don’t you know I signed on,
I starte sharpening my skills, you see,
Getting’ right on down makin’ all the folks
Just laugh off their butts to the beat to the beat
To the super funk beat that’s wicked sweet.
At the age of eight, I was really great
‘Cause I was getting’ great insurance rates!
At the age of nine, I was doin’ fine,
I won the spelling bee & stayed in line!
Goin’ on-n-n-on-n-on-on-n-on,
The spoofs won’t stop until the break of dawn!
Goin’ on-n-n-on-n-on-on-n-on,
Like it’s hot boppity bop da bop da bop jiggy jiggy!
Goin’ on-n-n-on-n-on-on-n-on,
‘Cause I’m a hell of a man when I’m on the ‘board,
Just come with me & you won’t get bored!
I’m a hell of a man when I’m on the ‘board,
Just come with me & you won’t get bored!
Come to sir Dylan Baranski,
The weirdo who rocks egregiously!
I’m gonna spoof ‘em here, I’m gonna spoof ‘em there,
I’ll even parody the atmosphere!

[vocals fade into crowd, song fades out]