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Song Parodies -> "Salvation Army"

Original Song Title:

"Fly Like An Eagle"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Steve Miller Band

Parody Song Title:

"Salvation Army"

Parody Written by:

Chris Caillouet

The Lyrics

This ballad was born out of recent discourse relating to our Second Amendment right and the sickening realization that no one appears to be much concerned with this right as it applies to those persons who constitute what are arguably the most vulnerable segments of our society: the transient and the indigent, the destitute and the derelict, the outcast and the exiled. This is all the more embarrassing when you consider what a large percentage of these are our veterans, who are learning the hard way that Uncle Sam’s gun grants are apparently just for the foreign enemies, not the domestic ones. Sadly, these forgotten souls haven’t the means to fulfill their own gun and ammunition needs, let alone meet the additional armory and munitions demands that come with dependents and drug addiction. We must no longer ignore these horrors of homeless defenselessness and the dangers inherent therein if we are to call ourselves human. I hereby call upon and beseech the Salvation Army, which is already perfectly poised to have the widest positive impact in this crisis: Step up, S.A., and arm your troops!
[schick-schluck-snick, pew-pew-p'pew!*] (x4)

Rights keep on slippin', slippin', slippin' into the sewer
Rights keep on slippin', slippin', slippin' into the sewer

I want the Salvation Army
To decree
Salvation Army
Now does firearms charity
I want the Salvation Army
To arm me
And to arm the homeless veterans

Scare the babies
Who don't know to be afraid
Teach the children
The fun of fusillade**
Arm the armless
Now their debts are paid
Wah-waah***, think of the veterans

I want the Salvation Army
To decree
Salvation Army
Sells guns on HGTV
I want the Salvation Army
To ship free
To all the world's soup kitchens

Rights keep on slippin', slippin', slippin' into the sewer
Rights keep on slippin', slippin', slippin' into the sewer
Rights keep on slippin', slippin', slippin' into the sewer
Rights keep on slippin', slippin', slippin' into the sewer

[pew-pew, p'pew-pew!] (x8)

I want the Salvation Army
Guarantee
Salvation Army
Make a prosthetic Uzi!
I hear that Salvation Army
Surgery
Is free with all ACA plans

[schick-schluck-snick, pew-pew-p'pew! schick-schluck-snick]
[schick-schluck-snick, pew-pew-p'pew!] (x3)

Rights keep on slippin', slippin', slippin' into the sewer
Rights keep on slippin', slippin', slippin' into the sewer

* SFX key: "schick" = slide pulled back; "schluck" = slide released, round chambered; "snick" = safety off; "pew-pew" = shots fired

** Yee-haw! Pew-pew!

*** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJ_R-G_i4Xk

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 1.5
How Funny: 1.5
Overall Rating: 1.5

Total Votes: 18

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   15
 15
 15
 
 2   1
 1
 1
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   2
 2
 2
 

User Comments

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Patrick - December 21, 2015 - Report this comment
Sig/Arms has developed a special brace that allows certain disabled veterans to safely handle and shoot semiautomatic pistols and carbines. It's hard to write a satire of the gun culture without someone taking it seriously. The government thinks it's just fine for young men to have guns when they are fighting for the government. But when they are down and out and have to defend themselves on the street, that's not supposed to be such a good idea.
Dave W. - December 21, 2015 - Report this comment
Dave W. likes this...but sadly, now I will be taken away and shot for supporting our rights ...

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