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Song Parodies -> "Inferno, Canto#1: The Tour-Guide Known as Virgil"

Original Song Title:

"The City of New Orleans"

Original Performer:

Steve Goodman

Parody Song Title:

"Inferno, Canto#1: The Tour-Guide Known as Virgil"

Parody Written by:

Giorgio Coniglio's Grandson

The Lyrics

This submission is a continuation of my adaptation of Dante’s Inferno. recently posted here. Again, the Italian lyrics involve selected lines of Dante’s original, modified as needed and fitted to the melody. My English translation involve some adaptations for modern readers.
Morning meet-up, tour to Paradiso -
Guide is that poet, Limbo-dwelling Virge.
Credit-card prepaid by Beatrice-oh!
Helluva trip from everything I’d heard.

Poi che ho posato il corpo lasso
Ripresi via per la piaggia diserta,
Il piè fermo sempre era’l più basso
Ed ecco quasi al cominciar de l’erta.

Resting til my body was less weary
Started to climb, with Monday-morning blaahs
Suddenly where the path grew steep and dreary -
Three bad actors who could really make you pause.

Mi porse tanto di gravezza, perdei speranza de l’altezza
Mi ripignei dove’l sol tace – la cagione?
Dinanzi al volto, impedivan mi’ cammino
Una lonza, una lupa, e un leone.

Lost hope of gaining the crest, each effort hiked my level of stress, so I
Rolled back into the shadows, gave up tryin’
Cause right before my face, so I had no chance to leave that place,
Roared a leopard, a she-wolf and a hungry lion.

Temp’era dal principio del mattino
E’l sol montava ‘n su con queste stelle
Ch’eran con lui quando l’amor divino
Mosse di prima queste cose belle.

Good morning fiendish guard-dogs! How are you?
The sun is rising on this naïve son,
Divine love may have set all this in motion
But I’d go five hundred miles for a trusty gun.

Quando vidi uno in silenzio nel diserto
“Miserere di me” gridai a lui
“Qual che tu sii, ad ombra od omo certo!”
Rispuosemi “Poeta, poeta già fui”

Someone appeared, from silence nearly faded
I cried to him, “Have pity on poor old me,
Whether you’re a real guy or one shaded.”
He said, “Way back when, I used to write poetry.”

Or sei tu quel Virgilio, nato a Roma sub Iulio,
Quella fonte che parla si largo fiume?
Tu se’l mio autore, vagliami’l grande amore;
De li altri poeti onore e lume.

I said - Hey, you Roman geezer from the time of Julie Caesar,
Are you the font whose speech creates a river?
We think your rhythm’s really neat, we’re rockin’ to your gentle beat
Your Virgil-rap sets poets’ hearts a-quiver.

Voglio campar d’esto loco selvaggio
Vedi la bestia per cu’io mi volsi
Aiutami da lei, famoso saggio
Ch’ella me fa tremar le vene e i polsi.

Can’t wait to wave this crazy wood ‘Good riddance’.
You saw that beast who made me turn and veer,
Please help me famous wise-man with your kindness,
Don’t believe my T-shirt ‘tho it reads ‘No Fear’

“Quest’invidiosa bestia dell’inferno
Non lascia passar per la sua via
Per lo tuo me’ penso e discerno
Che tu mi segui e io saro tua guida.”

“This hellish beast, you see is quite tenacious
Won’t let anyone get more than halfway home
If you hope to get to Memphis or to Heaven
I’ll guide you there, no charges while you roam.”

“Udrai spiriti dolenti e color che son contenti
Perche speran a le beati genti venire
Se vorrai salire in questa regna, un’anima piu di me degna
Con lei ti lascerò nel mio partire.”

“You’ll hear Inferno’s spirits vent, and later those who seem content
While waiting out their stints in Purgatory,
When the Big Guy’s Realm is nearing, this tour-guide is disappearing,
For me no sweet refrain – that’s another story.”

Che tu mi meni là dov’or dicesti
Si ch’io veggia la porta di san Pietro
E color cui tu fai cotanto mesti.
Allor si mosse, e io li tenni dietro.

Hey poet, I will follow where you lead me;
It’s a good five hundred miles to St. Peter’s gate;
To see my Bea, I’ll follow in behind thee.
It’s a heck of a trek, but it should be a heavenly date.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 2.6
How Funny: 2.6
Overall Rating: 2.6

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   2
 3   1
 4   1
 5   1

User Comments

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AFW - April 17, 2015 - Report this comment
This is probably very good, but a little beyond my range..for voting

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