well, i don't know quite what happened last night
i got a feeling, i got way too tight
unaware, i hit the tattooist's chair
and i'm wondering how i ended up there
sure made a wreck of me
poked me left and right
here i am
stuck with a big ol' tattoo

yes, i'm stuck with a big ol' tattoo
and i'm wondering what a laser could do
i'm so scarred...at least there's none on my face
but that seems to be the only darn place
drowned in such imagery
woke up full of fright
here i am
stuck with a big ol' tattoo

well, i started out with nothing
now i'm called the illustrated man
and my friends, when they come calling
see my awful back and say :
whee ! ...hee hee hee.....whee ! ...hee hee hee

cried, cause i am frankly appalled
and i feel like i've been damaged and mauled
well, i miss the way that i looked before
and i don't think that i want it no more
sure made a mess of me
jesus...what a night
here i am
stuck with a big ol' tattoo

well, i started out with nothing
now i'm called the illustrated man
and my friends, when they come calling
see my awful back and say :
whee ! ...hee hee hee.....whee ! ...hee hee hee

yeah, i don't know why i went there last night
i started screaming when i saw the sight
unprepared to have my kinfolk all stare
and i'm wondering why i didn't stay bare
booze got the best of me
jesus...what a plight
here i am
stuck with a big ol' tattoo

yes, i'm...stuck with a big ol' tattoo
stuck with a big ol' tattoo
here i am...stuck with a big ol' tattoo