Said she'd like me for dinner tonight.
Gladly did I accept the invite
Had no idea when I got there
She would turn me into the bill of fare
Chow til naught's left of me, savor every bite
Here I am. Stuck in a kettle of stew!

Yeah I'm stuck in a kettle of stew
And I'm wondering what the heck I should do.
I think that it's a total disgrace
That with me she'll be feeding her face.
Chow til naught's left of me, savor every bite
I'll be damned. Stuck in a kettle of stew!

At first I suspected nothing
And so proud to be a lucky man
Till behind me she came crawling
Whacked me on the head, Oh dear
Me-e-e-e-e-e-e Me-e-e-e-e-e-e.


Needless to say I was most apalled
To find romance not on her mind at all.
Planned on turning me into Dinty Moore
When here I'm thinking I gonna score
Boundless lust, ecstasy, poke 'er thru the night
'Stead I am stuck in a kettle of stew.

Well I had to think of something
That would upset her dinner plans
I was sure that I could save me
By a-makin' my own gravy
Fe-ce-e-e-e-e-es, Fe-ce-e-e-e-e-es!

She came in the kitchen later that night
One whiff told her something wasn't right.
She fixed me with a baleful glare.
Yanked me out of the pot by my hair
Cleansed me with enemas, hole she sewed up tight .
Once again I'm in a kettle of stew
Stuck again in a new kettle of stew
Here I am stuck in a kettle of stew..
.