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Song Parodies -> "24 Days I've Been Living Without Tobacco"

Original Song Title:

"Living Next Door with Alice"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"24 Days I've Been Living Without Tobacco"

Parody Written by:

Susanna Viljanen

The Lyrics

I decided "I'm on strike -
my addiction - take a hike!"
I quit the ciggies -
So I went on cold turkey and quit coffin nails
I'm surrounded by a stench so stale
every breath I take - they are now biggies -

Oh, as no more I do smoking and the stink's about to go
I am trembling and I'm shaking and I'm craving for Nicot -
ine - as 24 days I've been living without tobacco
24 days, I've not lit another fag
I'm crazy and I'm angry and I stutter and I gag
but I'm learning how to live without smoking tobacco

We grew up together, my habit and me
my skin is yellow and my lungs they wheeze
my taste was gone, sense of smell a-missing
Three boxes a day, I would puff and choke
now I can't get even a passive smoke
Hubby hid my pipe, as foul taste was my kissing

Oh, as no more I do smoking and my habit's 'bout to go
I have ransacked all my dressers just to find a Marlboro
as 24 days I've been living without tobacco
24 days, you might know what it is like
I'm crazy and I'm craving for another Lucky Strike
but I'm learning how to live without smoking tobacco

Hubby called me, and asked how I felt
"My head's exploding and by brain is swelled"
He said, "I know, it's working -"
"Your habit is going, and I'm still here
would you like to have a beer?
Just to drown the Devil that is lurking"

Oh, as no more I do smoking so I checked my bank account
it seems I had saved last month a money sum quite sound
as for 24 days I've been living without tobacco
24 days, and I want to break it free
perhaps I can now have for a year a smokeless spree
as I'm learning how to live without smoking tobacco

Though I'll never get used to not living without my tankard!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 1.3
How Funny: 1.3
Overall Rating: 1.3

Total Votes: 28

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   26
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   2

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Porfle Popnecker - June 03, 2023 - Report this comment
Well it looks like the_conqueror_of_parodies has targeted your parody by cleaning out the cookies to give you a set of bogus 111 votes. Never mind I'll cheer you up by giving you a genuine 555 vote as I actually liked this.
Phil Alexander - June 03, 2023 - Report this comment
@PP - What makes you so sure it's TCOP? Given the nature of those who get 13x 5s or 1s, it seems to me far more likely to be a US right-winger, & TCOP is an Aussie if memory serves. Just because he's been getting lots of 5s doesn't mean he's the vote fraudster: it's the same people every time, irrespective of how good the parody is or even what it's about.
Porfle Popnecker - June 03, 2023 - Report this comment
To Phil Alexander, when I want your lip, I'll ask for it. Thank you.
Porfle Popnecker - June 03, 2023 - Report this comment
Also, the person that decided to invite 300 Boy Scouts onto “Beat the Clock” was a FREAKING GENIUS. And now there’s a comment for each individual Boy Scout that appeared, what a hoot!
Phil Alexander - June 04, 2023 - Report this comment
OK PP, if that actually is the real PP, you're making an accusation and from the last comment a baseless one rather than something with any kind of evidence to back it up. Motive? Ah, maybe it's whoever's posting that kind of accusation & pretending to be PP who is responsible for the voter fraud. I'd love to get my hands on the IIS logs & see what source addresses match for posts and votes (and parodies).
Agrimorfee - June 07, 2023 - Report this comment
I can say that it is NOT "The Conqueror Of Parodies" because he and I have had many friendly interactions here since coming to AIR in 2000 (positive and constructive comments, ratings, virtual contests etc.). I consider him a virtual friend. I have been uno-bombed consistently on my works that have been critical of the right--that is assuredly not TCOP's wheelhouse. And I am also certain that this "Porfle Popnecker" commenting here is not the genuine PP--he never had this type of attitude towards other longtime submitters. We can assume that this Fake PP would have to be the perpetrator of spammed votes, because they are going out of their way to comment on these bombed parodies--which ALWAYS seem to be the same writers with a leftist POV. You think you are awesome Fake PP for using technology to f*** with people. This website has turned to crap thanks to asshats like you, Fake PP.

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