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Song Parodies -> "Driving My Ford From Henry / Being A Driving Malice"

Original Song Title:

"Living Next Door To Alice"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Driving My Ford From Henry / Being A Driving Malice"

Parody Written by:

Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd

The Lyrics

I can´t drive 55. No, really, I CAN´T!
Coppers waved, ´cos I missed the sign
They said "If you´ll be so kind...
Your license!"
Well I opened the window, and I peered outside
I could hardly see with these eyes
that SUV, cremosin, that crashed, into another five

I don´t know what to do now, or how it feels to go
I guess that´s an experience I do not like to know
´Cos for eighty-four years I´ve been driving my Ford from Henry
Eighty-four years of changing lanes by heart
to cut off younger drivers when they think the road´s for CART
Now I got to get used to not driving my Ford from Henry

We grew up together, a man and his car
We left our skidmarks at every bar
Me and A-Ford
Now there´s rust through the door, and the headlights blink
Just for a moment, I coughed in sink
A big limousine honked loudly, as they passed me and "winked"

I don´t know what to do ´cept, retiring my hat
I guess there´s a good reason but I´m feeling kinda flat
´Cos for eighty-four years I´ve been driving my Ford from Henry
Eighty-four years of turning left at whim
To you that´s suicidal but my wit is rather dim
Now I got to get used to not driving my Ford from Henry

So I kicked back and poured me a brew
And I said to self, most this do
Drive the A-Ford
See the license is gone, but we´re still here
You know I´ve survived in it for eighty-four years
And the big depression disappeared

I DO know what to do now, ´cos parking on the bench
to me is not an option, I´m a driving über-mench
And for eighty-four years I´ve been known as the driving malice
Eighty-four years and mostly on the road
Try tell me I must stop and you will hear me lock and load
´Cos I´ll never fall back, I´ll keep leading them freeway rallys

I will never retire from being a driving malice!
© Peter Andersson

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

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Übered Mench - July 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Get a car with a brake!
Kristof Robertson - July 15, 2004 - Report this comment
This is great, K1chyd! I guess not many people are familiar with Smokie, hence the low voting turnout. 555
Phil Alexander - July 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Must admit I only know this tune from listening to KBW's not-exactly-PC version... but "Eighty-four years, and mostly on the road" rather cracked me up. Just submitted my own "road menace" song...SUV to DC's TNT
Know 1 can hear you dream - July 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Übered: I´m to old and I have the wrong sex for being able to flat-ter a car salesman, but if he should ever get out on the road he´s on my territory...
Kristof: I´m pretty sure you´re right.
Phil: Got some ideas for that song myself. They´re on/in/at (?) the back burner for the moment. Looking forward to reading yours in the mean time.

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