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Song Parodies -> "Heavy Man"

Original Song Title:

"Chevy Van"

Original Performer:

Sammy Johns

Parody Song Title:

"Heavy Man"

Parody Written by:

Guy DiRito

The Lyrics

DKTOS? Youtube it HERE

There was a guy so wide his ass was saggin',
So sprawlin' his rolls have rolls.
So quagmired caused his hind to draggin',
It takes three seats where he rides in cargo holds.

Quintuple X'es size his underwear,
Moon tight pants his ass does glare.
He broke up and shook a mighty span,
He is so tubby he's a heavy man,
He's oh so quite heavy.

His great weight, was like that of a tanker,
Pylon legs so fat and round.
He don't need more size, he's a load, son.
He needs to go re-cycle pounds.

He's addin' inches to his underwear,
Huge bites, eats a dozen squares.
He woke up and ate a twelve pound ham,
He's so plumpy this here heavy man,
He don't eat light, not he.

(Instrumental Interlude)

He is so stout, all around he did so sprawl,
Out the sun could block from stern to stem.
Dessert loads does eat, socks off but can't see feet,
And it's your blame that your ass end grew again.

Split your britches, need a bigger pair,
Spoon bites dining on some fare.
With yokes up, you eat your eggs with spam.
One big lug such a heavy man.
You're such a sight to see.

Like a walrus he was layin' there,
Moon pies, chances he won't share,
He bloats up then licks the frying pan,
That big lug of a heavy man,
He's down right obesly.

He has no thinness, dozen tires spare,
More chins than in China there.
He's porked up with cookies in each hand,
This big tub of a heavy man,
He eats enough for three.

Quintuple X'es size his underwear,
Huge bites, eats a dozen squares.
He woke up and ate a twelve pound ham,..


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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   11

User Comments

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Andria - August 12, 2009 - Report this comment
Great one, Guy. The dude in your parody reminds me of the one who was in the news a while back, weighed 500 pounds and tried to smuggle a gun into jail within his fat rolls. 5s for you.
EmiLoca - August 12, 2009 - Report this comment
Excellent syllable matching and a hilarious difference between the OS and your creation here. Although I don't know what's so wrong about adding inches to your underwear. (Hey, you started it.)
Andy Primus - August 12, 2009 - Report this comment
Sounds like the Mexican bloke a saw on a TV show a while back - especially liked the chins line
Another comment by Andria - August 12, 2009 - Report this comment
Guy, I've kind of noticed that we use the same kind of OSs when writing parodies (mostly oldies and rock). Just wanted to let you know! :-)
blackjack21 - August 12, 2009 - Report this comment
Ooo, what a hefty man he was. Heavy duty parody, dude must weigh at least 555 lbs.
Fiddlegirl - August 12, 2009 - Report this comment
Utterly hilarious... and LOL @ EmiLoca
Guy - August 12, 2009 - Report this comment
Another long day at work for me today. Wish I had the time tonight to view your parodies and comment on them. I will get to them. I should have a 3 day weekend coming up. I'm glad I have parodies already written or I wouldn't have anything submitted this week.

Andria - I missed that news event. He's got it all going for him - he's obese and stupid. As for your second comment, I'm hopelessly stuck on the oldies. I write parody to the songs that I grew up with. I have very few parodies beyond the early 80s. I listen to the oldies station on local radio. Thanks for filling space on my comments. I like words in the little boxes called comments.

Emi - Tidy up your mind or not - creative minds are rarely tidy. I would have never figured that underware angle had you not brought it up. LOL I wish I could say I did it on purpose, but I am an honest person and will not take credit that is not due me. It did work out nicely, howver.. Thanks..

Andy - It came from an old saying that a hefty person had more chins than a chinese phone directory..I've used variations of the chins on a few parodies. Thanks, Andy - I will try to get to some of your parodies tomorrow night or Friday.

J♣ A♣ I recognise that hefty man - OS ""Lucky Man" . I believe it was done by Emerson Lake and Palmer. Now you went and gave me another idea. Thanks for weighing in - I'm shutting down and hiting the rack. It has been a tough couple of days for me and it may be again tomorrow. We have a real stinker of a problem and the clock is running out on us. Hopefully we'll have it solved tomorrow. I must be nuts to work as a Network and communications administrtor.

Anyway thanks for noticing and .acknowleging my parody for today.. My next two parodies are on the light side - none political - just silly stuff to make you laugh. I will be at 898 parodies on Friday. I'm shooting for 900 and beyond.. I'm beat - I going to crsah now. Good night. and thanks again to everyone.
Mark Scotti - August 12, 2009 - Report this comment
555 pounds of great "weighted" words!
TJC - August 12, 2009 - Report this comment
Heavy-weight division parodyin' mate-- K.O. in the 555th!
AFW - August 12, 2009 - Report this comment
Paints a very funny pic of a puffy prisoner...very well written
Guy - August 13, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks - Mark, TJC and Sir Farce.
UnKnownVotress - August 13, 2009 - Report this comment
. . . Miss you, Tony dearest . . . that's my favorite Big Guy: the SoPRANO Man !
Guy - August 13, 2009 - Report this comment
M'Lady I feature Tony's snitch pitcher in today's parody. But the guy in this parody makes Tony look tiny, at least that is the mental image I had of the "Heavy Man" as I wrote this. Thanks so much for reading and commenting.
alvin - August 17, 2009 - Report this comment
love the OS and love what you did to it even more
Guy - August 18, 2009 - Report this comment
Alvin - Yeah - the OS is decent - I like it as well - it was my first stab at this OS. It was a fun write - Thanks, Buddy.

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