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Song Parodies -> "The Tanning Mom"

Original Song Title:

"The Candy Man"

Original Performer:

Sammy Davis Jr.

Parody Song Title:

"The Tanning Mom"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Perhaps a bit old news-ish, but still pops up in the media, now and then
Who can make ya' nauseous,
Sicker than a dog
Just to see her picture
On the news channel you log
The Tanning Mom, oh the Tanning Mom can
The Tanning Mom can, cuz' her face is such a mess
And she thinks it looks good..

Who could fight commando, blend in jungle crud
Need no camouflage, or any kind of facial mud,
The Tanning Mom, oh, the Tanning Mom could
The Tanning Mom could, cuz' her face resembles rust,
And she thinks she looks good..

The Tanning Mom takes - herself in, and bakes
Brown as choc'late cakes, dark fishes
Macho, masculine, and vicious
Still she thinks she looks delicious..

She must not own a mirror, lacks reflective means
Won't somebody tell her, that she looks like kidney beans
The Tanning Mom, oh, The Tanning Mom needs
The Tanning Mom needs to see her over-tan deeds
Her shade a' tan's no good..

The Tanning Mom's brown - defies every noun
Adjectives could be atrocious,
Crude, and visually obnoxious
Bet her sweat is even toxious..

yeah, yeah, yeah
Whose face looks like something - dipped from a commode
Or a funny brown clown, or some cow chips on the road
The Tanning Mom, oh, The Tanning Mom does
The Tanning Mom does, don't she listen to news buzz
Cuz' really dissed, she was..

Yes, The Tanning Mom does, don't she listen to the buzz,
So badly dissed, she was..
a-Tanning Mom, a-Tanning Mom, a-Tanning Mom
a-Tanning Mom, a-Tanning Mom, a-Tanning Mom

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   10

User Comments

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Rob Arndt - June 06, 2012 - Report this comment
Well-done AFW. Nothing like those fake tan orange-lookin' babes to turn a guy off. I have found that thise that live in Arizon have that real bronze tan look that is so coveted. Other than that the rest want the Brazilian look. I once commented in Sunday School that I knew exactly what Adam & Eve looked like b/c the teacher said no one did. I told her that if the three major races were reintegrated that would give us them and that's a Brazilian from the White Europeans, to Black Slaves, and Asian traders (Brown and Red come off the Asian line). Adam and Eve had mocha skin, brown eyes, and long black hair.
Porfle Popnecker - June 06, 2012 - Report this comment
This parody is done to a turn!
Arwen - June 06, 2012 - Report this comment
I love parodying this's always fun...and this made me smile!
John Barry - June 06, 2012 - Report this comment
Callmelennie - June 06, 2012 - Report this comment
Who can muster three fives? Send them out to you. Make it an in-joke and a parody too ... The Lennie man, the Lennie man can
AFW - June 06, 2012 - Report this comment
Thanks, Rob, Porfle, Arwen, John, and Callmelennie...for votes and comments...enjoyed puns
Old Man Ribber - June 09, 2012 - Report this comment
Obla-di, Obla-da, he goes on, rah! Glory AF Won goes on! ;D
Christie Marie M - June 11, 2012 - Report this comment
That's why I would never go inside a tanning bed...It's very dangerous and too many radiation. I would also never let my future kid go in that either. Thanks for the TAN-talizing parody!! 555.
Andria - June 11, 2012 - Report this comment
Awesome parody, and I would NEVER go into a tanning bed for the reason that I cannot tan as well as what CMM said. I have to wear a ton of sunblock lotion in the summer (and even this weekend into today, it's been 85 degrees and sunny). Light skin/red hair and the sun don't mix. 5s...
AFW - June 11, 2012 - Report this comment
Hey, OMR...good to hear from you...when ya' gonna start submitting again?...thanks for v & c...and thanks, Christie, good to see your byline..need more of your parodies here...and Andria, good to hear from you, also, and miss your submits...yeah, I have fair skin, too...

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