I was tired of my boyfriend
He'd been too boring, too long
Like a classical concert
There's no words to the songs!
So while he sat there reading
I went on the internet
And on eHarmony.com
This was the profile I set

"If you're a teen who loves drama
And making out in the rain
If you like caramel macchiatos
If you're blonde AND have a brain
If you'd like partying at midnight
In the club, in a cage
Then I'm the girl that you've looked for
E-mail me for a date"

I didn't care about my boyfriend
I know that sounds kind of mean
But me and my old boyfriend
Were so yesterday's scene
Then someone e-mailed my address
They didn't sound half bad
And though he wasn't a poet
For what he wrote, I was glad

"Yes, I'm a teen who loves drama
And making out in the rain
Starbucks has my favorite coffee
I don't drink wine or champagne
How 'bout we meet tomorrow at 6
At a place that's first-rate
There's this restaurant called O'Malley's
Where we can have our first date"

So I waited, kinda hopeful
And he walked into the place
I knew his smile in an instant
I knew his crushing embrace
It was my long-ago ex-boyfriend
And he said, "Hey, it's you!"
Then we kissed for a moment
And I said, "I never knew

That just like me, you like drama
Making out in the rain
And the feel of the ocean
And hate the taste of champagne
If you'd like partying at midnight
In the club, in a cage
You're the boyfriend that I've looked for
Let's get on with this date"