I was tired of my lady, she'd gotten big as a whale
and the floor started creaking when she got on the scale
So while she sat there eating, I took my laptop to bed
And on a real kinky website, there was a woman that said:


"I sure like penis alotta, & playing "Tarzan & Jane"
I just love wearing togas, and I like whips & chains
If you like getting tied up real tight, in a fantasy rape
I've got plenty of handcuffs, there's no way you'll escape"


I didn´t think about my lady, I know I sound like a schmuck
It seems that my old lady, had gotten flabby and way too fat to %$#@
So I logged on the website, and then I answered her back
I said, "I want you to know this... I'm pretty good in the sack"


So you like penis alotta, and playing "Tarzan & Jane"?
I´m not much into straight sex, I like pleasure & pain
I want to meet you and I'll bring along.... nipple clamps and duct tape
Down at Mistress O'Reilley's, where there is no escape"


So, she showed up with tie-ropes, and she worked really fast
She tied me up in an instant, pinned me down with her ass
She was a big hefty lady, and she said, "On your knees!!"
Then she laughed at her conquest, and she said, "You're gonna' please!!"


"'Cuz I like penis a-lotta; I'll give you pleasure & pain"
Learn the feel of my bullwhip, and the sting of my cane
I'm gonna' work you over all night, you'll be bound, gagged & raped
When we get to my dungeon, there will be no escape"

"Yes I like penis alotta, & playing "Tarzan & Jane"
I just love wearing togas, and I like whips & chains
If you like getting tied up real tight, in a fantasy rape
I'm the Mistress you've looked for, there's no need to escape"