I didn’t know what day it was when I walked into this store.
I asked for help and noticed, a sign on the bathroom door.
My wife was shopping as usual, whilst I start climbing walls.
I really required a urinal or something resembling stalls.

The door was locked no entry, the sign said, “Out of Order”.
Perhaps I’ll piss on the horsey outside, brother can you spare a quarter?
My face was red then orange, as the yellow invades my blood.
I’m closing in on Disaster Street, this uric acid flood.

Chorus:
Urine K-Mart, no toilet bowls
There was no stall there, I go to Kohls
And then to Walmart, my bladder’s end
Urine control.

I’m in the Sports Department, things get pretty tense.
I think I’ll drain the one-eyed schlong at the manager’s expense.
There’s bikes and gloves and bats and balls, but I find me new golf clubs.
I still go green and love the earth, no way I’d piss on shrubs.

Urine K-Mart, no toilet bowls
There was no stall there, I go to Kohls
And then to Walmart, my bladder’s end
Urine control.

So cops are called, I’m hauled away, I hope I make the bail.
Lesson learned like butter churned, I now drive with a pail.
Don’t count your chickens before they hatch, as one wise man once said.
Could’ve been worse they tell me now, holding Number 2 instead.

Urine K-Mart, no toilet bowls
There was no stall there, I go to Kohls
And then to Walmart, my bladder’s end
Urine control.