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Song Parodies -> "Haggis Day"

Original Song Title:

"Maggie May"

Original Performer:

Rod Stewart

Parody Song Title:

"Haggis Day"

Parody Written by:

Mark Scotti

The Lyrics

Haggis is a traditional Scottish dish. The ingredients: sheep's 'pluck' (heart, liver and lungs), minced with onion, oatmeal, suet, spices, and salt, mixed with stock, and traditionally boiled in the animal's stomach for approximately three hours. Alert to Jim Rotondo, here is my third parody with your favorite word:

Mum served Haggis, it's heart, lungs, liver with a side of gruel
Served in Scotland, but I think that the Romans once made it too
Sewn in a stomach of ewes, served with neeps and tatties too
And Haggis fed the Scotland battleworn
You look at the dish and groan, a meal that sheep would not condone
You eat their hearts, puts vegans on alert
Scotch whiskey rounds drank as it is served compliments the taste
But U.S. worries banned it, crisis after '88
And most who try it choke, the dish is not for the average bloke
But Haggis can always be fried, ancient lore
It fed Braveheart's troops at home, for their fight from the English throne
It fed their souls and led to a victory renown

Burns Supper meetings are real good times in Haggis Land
And they boiled it undercover til
Souther blew from yonder, the meal came out
Now it's served in every shed
And even burgers are served on warm bread
Oh Haggis, your heart's mine, lungs du jour
It fed all the Scots at home, as well as the people of Rome
They're serving hearts, the Scottish eat them with some rye

(Really long Bagpipes solo)

My stomach contains stomachs from ewes some folks would find that cruel
But this the Scottish say will make a fighter from an average fool
Just eat one time this sausage brand, appetite is in demand
That's Haggis, stuffed stomach, and we stuff our face
It made my lower lip drool intently
I have been blind for this food is for me
I ate more heart, makes me love it everyday

(Bagpipes bit again)

Haggis, a dish I've finally embraced
I'll send some back home, snuck on a plane

Copyright 2009

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   14

User Comments

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alvin - April 27, 2009 - Report this comment
haggis gaggis.....disgustingly funny
Patrick - April 27, 2009 - Report this comment
Far better than the original. I'd love to hear it sung with the bagpipe accompaniment. Of course, I like to hear anything accompanied by bagpipes.
Leo Keough - April 27, 2009 - Report this comment
I always seem to confuse haggis with hummus - 555 for setting me straight!!!
Mark Scotti - April 27, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks to Alvin, Patrick & Leo..
AFW - April 27, 2009 - Report this comment
I think I'll pass on this dish.,.but fine job on the parody
Mark Scotti - April 27, 2009 - Report this comment
A "hearty" thanks to you, AFW!!
Jim Rotondo - April 27, 2009 - Report this comment
Hearts, livers and lungs, oh my! Great parody Mark, GRUEL RULES, I was checking out the "pork bungs" at a Saigon market 2 weeks ago, amazing what people eat when there's so many normal cuts of meat.
Mark Scotti - April 27, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks, Jim. I never tried it, but it served for a good parody....
2Eagle - April 27, 2009 - Report this comment
Barfed out, gag me with a spoon! I know what that is and is so unkosher, but I like your parody.
Invisible Boy - April 27, 2009 - Report this comment
"Haggis" IS a funny word. This is a funny parady.
Mark Scotti - April 27, 2009 - Report this comment
Gross of thanks to 2Eagle & IB!!!
Christie Marie M - April 27, 2009 - Report this comment
Honestly, I never tried haggis before, but it reminds me about this book I read where it caught my interest when they cut the sheep's stomach, a steaming concoction of oats and meat oozes out from the slit. I've never seen anything like that before. You ought to check out this clip on Let me know what you think. Also speaking of foods that gross me out, there's this Filipino dish of pig's ear stew with beef blood. I found that disgusting. If I were to try haggis, I probably won't like it either. Just as Patrick mentioned, I would also be curious to hear it sung with bagpipe accompaniment. Anyways, great song, Scotti! 555.
Mark Scotti - April 28, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks, Christie!!!!
malcolm higgins - April 28, 2009 - Report this comment
this one obviously took guts to write.. as born Scot, if there is more barley in the mix, it's wonderfully full of fibre too. Great witth HP sauce.. or a slice fried in the morning with eggs. This one went doen nicely with me..
Mark Scotti - April 28, 2009 - Report this comment
A hearty haggis of thanks to you, Malcolm!
Susanna Viljanen - April 30, 2009 - Report this comment
Serve me 555 grams, please!ยง
Mark Scotti - April 30, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks, Susanna!
Tommy Turtle - May 06, 2009 - Report this comment
Scan my song page and ewe'll find numerous better uses for sheep :-) 555 for the inspiration for "Haggis-Dasz".
Mark Scotti - May 06, 2009 - Report this comment
That was hilarious!!! Thanks!
John Barry - July 24, 2010 - Report this comment
Mark, bet you and I are the only ones who've done haggis parodies. Nice job!
Mark Scotti - July 25, 2010 - Report this comment
Thanks, John. I bet you're right!!!
Blaydeman - April 29, 2011 - Report this comment
(ABC) I've had haggis a few times, sometimes it's ok, and others it's horrible! This parody however is not horrible, actually it's really good!
Mark Scotti - April 29, 2011 - Report this comment
A 'seconds' of thanks to you, Blaydeman!
Agrimorfee - May 06, 2011 - Report this comment
(Abc) This is my favorite in this round, not just because it is funny and well done, but also educational and surprisingly sincere. The couplet about eating hearts and falling in love with the dish was particularly classy.
Mark Scotti - May 07, 2011 - Report this comment
A HEARTfelt thanks to you, Agri. I educated myself a lot on the subject while writing it...
Abbott Skelding - May 09, 2011 - Report this comment
ABC: I agree with Patrick that to hear the bagpipes with this song, but the lyrics are good and the title switch is great!
Mark Scotti - May 09, 2011 - Report this comment
Thanks, Abbott!
D-mon - May 09, 2011 - Report this comment
(ABC) ugh, I hate haggis! but I liked this parody!
Mark Scotti - May 10, 2011 - Report this comment
Thanks, D-mon!
bobpiecheese - May 10, 2011 - Report this comment
(ABC) Now I know more about haggis than I ever wanted to know. Such a great parody about such a fundamentally icky dish, I'd say I didn't see that coming, but I've been on this site long enough to know that nothing is impossible with the right hands behind the parody. 555 for you, laddie!
Below Average Dave - May 10, 2011 - Report this comment
And Matthias calls poo parodies gross. . .I about barfed on the first line. . . congratulations, not easy to catch me that far off guard. . .funny, even though I personally can't imagine why people would enjoy such a thing, but then I grew up in America where what we eat is probably viewed even more disparagingly than I view that first line, after-all when we eat Pizza--we are really just eating Grease with a side of Cheese. . .
Matthias - May 11, 2011 - Report this comment
I thought that Haggis is the worst food in the world but then I saw Extreme Foods on... I think it was either the Travel Channel or Food Network and Haggis is child's play compared to that. This was a great parody about not such a great food.
Mark Scotti - May 11, 2011 - Report this comment
A "gurd' of thanks to bobpie, Dave & Mathias. i am an American, but, i saw the dish on TV one night, heard Maggie may the next day, and then "served tgis one up...

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