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Song Parodies -> "Someone Stole My Clutch"

Original Song Title:

"Sometimes When We Touch"

Original Performer:

Rod Stewart

Parody Song Title:

"Someone Stole My Clutch"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

I bought an old Ford Escort
Painted light blue like the sky
A stealin' deal for ninety bucks,
It's a stick shift, guess that's why
She purred soft like a kitten
Front tires needed tread
I parked outside a grocery
Popped in to buy bread..

And someone stole my clutch
Some no good such and such
Only spent five minutes there, inside
I hope I catch that guy or guys
Gonna' blacken all their eyes
And slowly choke 'em till revenge in me subsides

I head on home, pissed as can be
Cellphone rings when in my drive
Someone says it's been towed away,
I owe a hundred five..
While, on the phone, I'm ragin'
Receiver breaks my tooth
New cap takes two more C-notes
Here in downtown Duluth..

'Cause someone stole my clutch
I'm deep in debt and dutch
Sold that Ford for thirty bucks to Clyde
Not'ry public charged me nine
Spent eleven on some wine,
With all these domino effects, down "Three eight-five":

Just pray I find that thief
Wherever he may be
I'll kick him on his fat butt
And choke him endlessly
He made my day distressful
For a lousy Escort part
It would have been so restful
Not this chaos ala carte..
Right then, a drifter mugs me
To the hospital, I'm sent
No words say how it bugs me,
Wish I had been Clark Kent

Yes, someone stole my clutch
I'm back at home with a crutch
Therapy has ebbed my anger tide
No longer want that thief to die
He can live in pain and cry
When I squeeze his neck till revenge in me subsides

Gonna' squeeze his neck till revenge in me subsides

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   12

User Comments

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Jason - August 05, 2008 - Report this comment
You should learn to 'clutch' onto the 'clutch' then! 555
Peregrin - August 05, 2008 - Report this comment
Maybe they 'slipped the clutch' out from under when AFW was distracted, after all - AFW *was* a little boozy today (refer other parody)! Funny line "Some no good such and such" heh heh...
Peter Andersson - August 05, 2008 - Report this comment
This brought back memories of the time when Someone Grabbed My Crutch, could I only stand listen to this OS a couple of times over I would probably use it to relate the full story in a parody song, alas I can't so I'll simply say it was one of those things that can happen at an orthopedic's clinic.
alvin - August 05, 2008 - Report this comment
vast improvement over the the contrast between your lyrics and the gentle melody
2Eagle - August 05, 2008 - Report this comment
Anything is better than the original lyrics. Good song about one of the facts of life - like having your ID stolen. Try "Someone Stripped My Car".
AFW - August 05, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, all for votes and comments...
Rip Van Merry - August 05, 2008 - Report this comment
Eeeek! When I fell asleep 30 years or so back the OS was by Dan Hill. Whaaa.... happened?
AFW - August 05, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, Rip Van, and True, I think he did it first, but if you'll check the submission form, you'll note that under the blank for performer, the words, "Who did the version your parodying?", Rod Stewart did the version, I'm parodying
Dr Music - August 05, 2008 - Report this comment
That's happened to me so many times. But it's happened to our dad too.
Tim Mayfield - August 05, 2008 - Report this comment
Very well done. Bravo. Here's $555, so that brings you to a grand total of -$48,445.00 after the hospital charges. Many fantastic lines and only wondering how you got the car for so little to start with.. maybe the clutch was already missing. :-)
AFW - August 05, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, Dr, and Tim...well, it was an old year And I bought it from an Escort service
Dr Music - August 06, 2008 - Report this comment
You know, our dad used to own a car just like yours AFW, but he's got a new one now...a ferrari.
EsqueCourtress - August 06, 2008 - Report this comment
Here's a tender 'clutch' , for one who's got a rather rough touch!
cj - August 18, 2008 - Report this comment
This is too funny. We went to pick my husbands car up from the tranny shop on Sunday afternoon. When we pulled behind the shop (where they told us to park) we noticed the hood was up on his Ford Escort. Someone during the night had opened the hood and stole the alternator. Found the song and had a good laugh about our situation.
AFW - August 20, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, Dr. M...quite a step up from an Esc. to a Ferrari.................thanks, EC...and thanks, cj...........Quite a coincidence..I guess life can imitate art, after all......If I may be so bold as to call a lowly parody, art..

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